Infallibility
by soraslover982
Summary: As the days in the Organization pass by, will Roxas understand his reason for existing? Will he understand Xion's as her importance to him grows? What is an emotion? What is a memory? Lost in a world where reality is not as it seems, Roxas searches for the truth in the hidden recesses of his dreams. Can Roxas change her fate? Can Xion change his?
1. Prologue

**SL:**

Just a little bit of info that I couldn't really fit into the summary.

This a Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days and Birth by Sleep fanfiction.

Although I tagged this as Romance, that isn't really the central aspect to the story. It has to do more with finding a meaning to Roxas and Xion's lives. There _will _be romance, but there's also going to be more of everything in general: action, hurt/comfort, etc. etc. Couples are not only going to focus on Roxas and Xion. I wanted to explore with other couplings as well (all straight). Things aren't going to be as written in stone as it is with some relationships. And somehow, it'll all seem plausible. The story starts off a bit slow since it's written the way the game was delivered, so please be patient. :) I even used actual lines from the game. The game terminology will start to fade in the later chapters since it's going to start becoming more my interpretation of how I wanted to the game to go on, but anyways...I hope you guys like it!

* * *

Dark water covers my vision.

Air enters my lungs

This is the beginning of my end.

Yet, I don't understand.

Is any of this real or not?

My body sways in the water.

I open my eyes slowly

My legs touch the ocean floor.

Light pierces my eyes,

Doves form out of the sand beneath my feet to reveal stained glass.

An image forms before me.

A boy.

Who is he?

Why does he look just like me?


	2. Mission of Nobodies

A _Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days and Birth by Sleep_ Fan-fiction

Miscellaneous information/Disclaimer:

**SL:**

1. None of the franchise belongs to me.

2. Improvements have been made earlier than promised! Hope you enjoy the first chapter (again or for the first time)!

* * *

**Chapter 1**

**Mission of Nobodies**

Roxas

It's only been a few days since I was created.

Moving was a challenge, a small feat compared to what I can do now. Rational thought didn't develop until later days. Memories of Axel talking to a lifeless body of mine still surprises me. I don't know how he had the patience.

Axel and I have gotten acquainted to some level now that I can express myself fully, however awkwardly still. Although, I know he wouldn't really hang out with me if it wasn't an assignment. There have been days when I've been wrong and he takes me to the top of the Twilight Town tower after a mission where we eat Sea-salt ice cream bars. I even got a stick that said WINNER. Axel congratulated me while I dumbly stared at it. Back then, I was still a newborn, new to the world and all it had to offer. Axel was my only anchor to reality.

For the first time since those long and peacefully sunny days in Twilight Town, we've been split up. I've been assigned to play the role that Axel played with me with another newborn Nobody.

* * *

Today's mission involves me going with the new kid—Xion—to Twilight Town. I get the feeling that I'm on babysitting duty. I learned what that was when I overheard Axel talking to Saïx about me. It saddens me that he feels that way, because for me, being with him was fun. But I guess the feeling's not mutual. Axel's always been quick to correct me when I use pathos or ethos vocabulary-he calls it. Whenever I refer to something that happens in my chest and the only words I can use to describe the sensations are words that are "pathetic". He always laughs when he corrects me.

Back to the point. I'm stuck with Xion today.

He hasn't said anything since I first met him. This is our second mission together and once again, I have no idea what to say or how to act around him. Things feel even more awkward with him around, more than I already make them. I've tried talking to him twice, but got nothing. Axel never once complained (at least not to my face). I suppose I shouldn't either.

"Hey…Xion." The name feels foreign on my tongue. I get some sort of acknowledgement nod from him. I barely notice that he hasn't once taken off his hood that's always covering his face."Do you want to split up? We can get both the giant Heartless and the weaker Heartless that way. Then we can RTC faster." He doesn't say anything. I remember when I was like this the first days too, so for me to get exasperated with him is unfair.

"Alright." I say. "I'll take that as a yes."

I head off to the Station Plaza where the Train Common is. It's a big area and for some reason Heartless like to gather in it. I'll probably find a huge one there. Just before I get out of earshot, I hear a whisper.

"R-Roxas."

Not knowing how to distinguish feminine qualities in a voice since the Organization doesn't have many female Nobodies (Marluxia is more of a woman than Larxene), I can't really understand whose voice it is I'm hearing. I turn around. "Xion?"

"Roxas…that's your name, isn't it?"

Speechless, I force some words out of my mouth. "Yes, that-that's right."

(She) turns her body to face the opposite direction of the Station Plaza. "See you." She says raising her hand to wave slightly while walking away.

I regain my composure when she's out of sight. My name…was that the first thing she's ever said?

I get on with the mission, not wanting Saïx to reprimand me so soon on the job. As I enter the Plaza, nothing appears out of the ordinary. Suddenly, I feel the hairs on the nape of my neck prickle. I turn swiftly, barley able to dodge an incoming attack.

"What is _that?_" I ask aloud.

I check my Enemy Files as fast as I can. This Heartless is called Darkside.

I should never underestimate the Organization again when they tell me to fight a giant Heartless. I quickly dodge another attack, sending a string of attacks of my own. The Darkside counters relentlessly, not giving me any chance to breathe. I approach it's hand, Lock-On, and hit it as much as I can before moving out of the way. He brings his hand into a fist, too high for me to reach, and slams it into the floor. A dark puddle oozes from it, spawning Pureblood Heartless. I hack and slash at them until they disappear, all while losing HP. Darkside raises his hands again and through the gaping hole of his chest, he unleashes orbs of light that follow me wherever I go. I roll onto the ground, gaining speed and momentum, dodging as much as I can, not able to catch my breath. My energy is dangerously low. I check my Backpack for a Potion, but find a useless Moonstone. I see Darkside ready to make another huge attack but I can't avoid it in time. I close my eyes, bracing for the hit.

Out of nowhere, someone fires a blast of ice at Darkside's face, distracting him. Xion grabs me by the arm while she Air Slides twice, enough to get us out of the way of his attack.

"Here." She hands me a Hi-Potion.

"Thanks." I gulp it down, eternally grateful, feeling replenished. "You came in the nick of time. Did you destroy your Heartless?" I ask.

"Yeah, but it wasn't as huge as this one."

I straighten up, full of energy, "Ready?"

She gets in her fighting stance, "Yeah."

We rush at the Darkside in perfect unison as if we were created from the same person.

I cup my hands in front of me and propel Xion onto its arm. She scales up to the shoulder, shooting fire at its face. It tries to shake her off by moving its head, but Xion clings to it like a professional. She's a newborn and already she can do more than I was able to do the first few days of my creation.

Darkside grabs Xion and throws her across the Plaza. I run even further to catch up to her, air sliding four times. She lands with her back against my chest, sending both of us against the end of the Plaza. My back hits the concrete barrier hard, cracking the bricks. I cringe, but glad that I managed to get Xion, imagining her being the one getting hurt.

"Are you okay?" I ask. As I hold her, I realize how fragile she is.

She nods, somewhat stunned. "Thank you," She turns and smiles at me, although I'm still not able to meet her eyes, "Sorry."

I return the gesture, trying to cover the crack in the brick. She'll feel guilty if she sees that. "No problem."

She gets up, waiting for me.

I wave her off, "I'll catch up."

The shadow of her hood moves slightly. For an instant, she appears to frown, but I pass it off as a figment of my imagination when turns and runs ahead.

It takes me a moment to get up. Should I use Cure? I don't like using magic since I don't have any Ethers to refill my Magic Gauge. Then again, if I'm weak I can't fight as well. I raise my Keyblade and heal myself. I run to join Xion slashing the hand Darkside never seems to raise. Darkside surprises me by smacking the Keyblade out of my hands. It slides in front of Xion.

"Xi—" I call.

She grabs the Keyblade, turns full speed to Darkside and slices right through it. We watch as Darkside sways from side to side and finally, while spreading a dark powder, implodes on itself.

"There's no heart." Xion observes.

"That's because it's a Pureblood Heartless…I think…" I manage to say in my state of shock. Did she just use the Keyblade?

"Where do those go?" She asks.

"Y-you meant the hearts?"

"Mhmm."

I shrug, cracking my body from its shackles. "I was told they go to Kingdom Hearts." I summon my Keyblade; it goes from her hand to mine. "When did you find out you could use the Keyblade?"

Xion pauses, "Just now, I guess."

"You mean you didn't know?"

She shakes her head.

"Well," I stand up, "Now we know a little more about each other. People like you and I are the only ones that can collect hearts for Kingdom Hearts. At least that's what Saïx and the Organization told me."

Although, this information implies I'll be useless if I can't collect hearts. If I couldn't wield the Keyblade. I wonder what would happen to me? Would they exclude me from the Organization? Somehow, I don't think it would be that easy.

"Roxas."

"Hmm?"

"Do you want to return to the Castle That Never Was?"

"Mm…no, not yet. You did good. You could use a little something extra."

She raises an eyebrow, "Something extra?"

I signal to the tower, "Yeah, the icing on the cake."

* * *

I settle down carefully on the edge of the clock tower, watching as the sun sets red and orange in the horizon, past the buildings of Twilight Town. Although this is new to me, the image reminds of something I've seen somewhere else before.

"How'd you find such a great place?" Xion asks, sitting down on the edge. She gets momentarily distracted. "Long way down." She comments nervously.

I nod, sitting down next to her, time ridding me of my acrophobia. "Just don't think about it. I personally like the sunset."

She silently stares into the horizon. I unwrap the two ice cream bars and hand one to her, "Here."

She grabs it, "What's this?"

"Try it."

Xion grabs her hood for the first time and slips it back, revealing her face. I take in her ocean, blue eyes accentuated by her jet-black hair and porcelain skin. She looks down, slipping some strands of hair that fell near her eyes behind her ear. I notice her eyelashes cast shadows on her cheekbones that had a natural pink tint to them. I don't know how I ever thought she was a guy, not with features as delicate as these.

I gulp with difficulty.

In an instant, the feeling rising in the pit of my stomach disappears, leaving me with more questions than answers. What was that sensation? Perhaps this is what Axel meant. These are the memories of what it was _like_ to feel. The remnant memories left in my empty shell of a body. However, I haven't remembered anything. How can I remember what it was like to feel first?

"Roxas?"

I realize I haven't strayed my eyes from her since she pulled off her hood. "Oh, sorry."

She chuckles, "Is it really…that surprising?"

"What is?"

"That I'm a girl."

I shake my head, "I don't really…know."

"Huh?"

"I don't…" I hope that isn't insulting. I change the subject, "How'd you like the ice cream?"

Grateful that she goes along with it, she answers: "It's sweet. But kind of salty, too."

"It's good, right? Axel and I always meet up here after work and eat some. Sea-salt's Axel's favorite." Axel's the only one that bothers to talk to me, except Xion now. "Axel's my first friend."

"Your friend?"

I nod. It's funny to say that. I didn't know what a friend was a few days ago and now I have one.

"Roxas…do you think I could be a friend?"

I raise my eyebrows in surprise, "Sure! When Axel gets back from Castle Oblivion, let's ask him. Then all three of us can have ice cream together."

A small droplet of melted ice cream slips on my glove. I lean and lick it.

"Roxas?" Xion says softly.

"Yeah?"

"Do you know…where I come from?"

I sigh, "I don't know where _I _came from. None of it makes any sense to me. Sorry. That didn't help at all."

She frowns, while taking a bite of her ice cream, "What _are _we?"

Mechanically, I say, "We're Nobodies."

"What is that? A Nobody?"

I'm not able to answer immediately, "What is a Nobody?"

I take a moment to think about my answer, "I think Nobodies are beings without hearts."

She puts her hand to her chest, "Why don't we have one?"

I finish my last piece of ice cream, checking the stick for WINNER. "I've been wondering that myself. I wish I knew."

"What is a _heart_?" She insists.

"—Why do we need it?" I quickly add. "I don't know," I look down, shaking my head, "I don't know anything."

Questions flood my mind with her provocative inquiries. Why do Nobodies seek to have hearts? Why do we need to destroy Heartless to get them? Why are they called Heartless in the first place if they _have_ hearts? Do people that have hearts turn into those things? While looking down at the Plaza, I spot a trio that I've seen walking around Twilight Town before.

"Pence, hurry up!"

"Olette! Hayner! Stop running so fast!" the chubby kid yells out.

"Slowpoke! You need to exercise!"

They run through the glass doors of the tower.

Maybe having a heart makes us like them. They seem happy and carefree. I've felt like that sometimes. Like right now, before talking about this, I would consider myself happy. Yet, they have feelings; something that Nobodies don't have. How will we know if we have them or not if we don't even know what feelings are? How are we different from _them_—people with hearts? Yet, the question I want answered the most is: how did we come to _be_ without hearts?

"I wish I could answer your questions, Xion. But the truth is I have the same ones, if not more."

She sighs quietly.

"Maybe having a heart, feelings, and everything that comes with that thing makes life worth living. Why else would Xemnas and the Organization want hearts so badly? So much so that he would send us and everyone else in the Organization to go to the ends of other worlds and collect hearts from beings called Heartless?"

One thing that's kind of bothered me since I started hunting Heartless is: how does the Organization know where the Heartless will appear?

Xion finishes her ice cream. "How do we know that Kingdom Hearts will give us hearts? Why do we need so many? We're only a few in the Organization."

I shake my head, "I don't know. Like I said before, I don't know much about any of this."

She sighs, "We really are a mystery, aren't we?"

I nod, "A mystery wishing to be solved."

* * *

We return to the castle and go to our respective rooms in the white and monotonous chambers of the place we call home.

Now with so many questions surging through my head, I have no idea what to think about anymore. Where's Axel anyway? Maybe he'll be able to give me some answers. I lie down on my bed, my back stretching painfully until finally readjusting. Why does it feel like he never tells me everything he knows? What is Axel hiding?

I stare out my window where I have Kingdom Hearts in plain view: the heart-shaped moon high in the everlasting night sky.

What is it about that thing that got all of this started? Speaking of starting things, who started the Organization and when? Xemnas—and if it was him them how old is he? How old am I? Xion? Axel? Is that what having a heart means: being able to age, to start young and end old? Has anyone of the Organization aged? Our past selves, were they really us or another person? What if this person is still alive? What if we can meet him or her?

I frown, exhaling in exasperation. If that person is alive, what are Nobodies? Ironically, I think the name fits.

Can Nobodies exist at the same time as their other selves—their 'past selves'? Will growing old really be the only thing we get from having a heart? Will Kingdom Hearts actually give us hearts?

Do I want even want one?

I turn on my side, putting my arm under my head. It seems right to want a heart since that's what I'm collecting hearts for: to get exactly that. Everybody has a heart, but Nobodies. Yet I can't help but wonder why we came to be without one. What's the purpose of opening Kingdom Hearts by collecting other hearts to make hearts for ourselves? Isn't that just a waste—redundant, even? Having a heart from the start would have been easier, logical. However, the fact of the matter is that I don't have one. I don't know if I want one or if Kingdom Hearts will get me one. All I know is that not having a heart makes me feel empty.

Like a shell—an empty shell.

* * *

**SL:**

An awful lot of questions, huh? Reviews are welcome!


	3. Mission of Remembrance

**SL:** I'm supposed to be studying for finals! But here it is!

Enjoy and please leave reviews!

(and for some odd reason, I can't underline the title...)

* * *

**Chapter 2:**

**Mission of Remembrance**

Few Weeks Later 

Roxas

"Kairi!"

I open my eyes to see a little girl with short red hair, the color of violet and blood, eyes like the ocean, playfully running down a beach. A little boy runs up to her and grabs her hand.

"Kairi! Come! I wanna show you something!"

"Sora, you're pulling too hard!" She cries.

He immediately releases her hand, "Sorry, but it's just I really want you to see. I just found it!"

Kairi looks ahead, "What about Riku?"

As I hide behind a shed, it occurs to me that maybe even if I am in plain sight, they wouldn't be able to see me. They've already looked my way a couple of times without hinting of knowing I'm there.

Sora shakes his head, "No Riku. This secret is just between us."

"But I want Riku to know, too!" She whines.

"Aw, Kairi! Come on!"

He yanks her by the hand again, leading her to where he wishes so badly to go.

As they disappear behind the palm trees and large mountain, I take a moment to reconnaissance, wondering where I am. I survey the area, realizing with slight anxiety that I'm on one of many small islands. I blink hard, trying to decipher if this is a dream.

"How did I get here?" I wonder aloud, scratching the back of my head.

As I carefully circle the island, I find no other inhabitants other than the two kids. The main mountain that makes up most of the island has wooden houses built on and around it, the occupants working well with the geography. Someone developed a system of intercommunicating the houses with each other through the use of wooden bridges. The design looks sturdy and new, yet there aren't any people there. I walk past a wooden shack and a dock. A peculiar tree growing sideways with a few star-shaped fruits hanging low from the palms captures my attention. I step up on the dock, mesmerized. Once I approach it, I'm filled with the irresistible desire to sit on it, knowing that if I do, I'd appreciate the sun and the ocean with more gratification. Yet, I only place a hand on it, feeling the rough texture of the bark against my gloved hand. I force myself to turn away, somehow knowing that if I sit on it, I'll only feel lonely.

In a flash, Xion and Axel's faces come to mind. Maybe when I return to the Castle I can tell them about this place and we can come back together, sit on that tree and enjoy the peaceful atmosphere.

I veer my attention to a high pitched chuckle coming from behind me. Posterior the shed in a corner, I notice a passageway, sounds of children's banter echoing back. I follow the sounds cautiously, even though I probably won't be seen.

Sora appears with Kairi in the stone passageway, facing away from me.

"It's kinda dark," Sora says with the trill of excitement, "but if you're scared just hold my hand even tighter, okay, Kairi? I won't go anywhere."

Kairi grips his arm, "Okay!"

I notice Sora blush slightly. We come to the end of the passageway, which opens up to a cave. He stops walking to marvel at something on the right wall. I stay a little ways out of the cave, so as not to be spotted.

"Look!" Sora exclaims.

"Wow! It's pretty!"

"You like it, Kairi?" Sora inquires intently.

"Yeah! But…"

With everything in the cave clearly visible, I search for a potential light source. I didn't see the children come in with anything. I look past the kids, noticing a door with light emanating from underneath it. What an odd place to put something like that. I analyze the carpentry. It appears to be manmade, yet the children are blind to it. Do they not notice it, or have they seen it before and don't care to see what's on the other side?

"But what?" Sora raises his eyebrows, disconcerted.

Kairi leans down to pick up a small stone. She throws it in the air and catches it. "We need to decorate!"

"Decorate? Sora blinks.

"Yeah! Let's draw stuff all over the walls! Here, Sora!" Handing him a rock, Kairi finds a spot on the stone walls and begins her artwork.

"But what should I draw?" Sora asks.

"Anything. Anything you want! I'm drawing my house."

"Oh, you mean your house from the world you came from?"

Kairi pauses her drawing, "No. I don't remember what it looks like."

The atmosphere grows tense for a moment.

"Then how about we draw _that_?" Sora suggests innocently, "We can draw what we think your house looks like."

Sora settles on the opposite side of the cave, beginning his masterpiece.

"I want to go to your world, Kairi. I want to see it all."

She laughs, reestablishing her pleasant mood. "Even though I lived there and saw it, I can't remember anything."

"Forgetful Kairi." Sora taunts.

"Lazy bum Sora." Kairi responds.

He pouts his lips, which slip into a smile. The children laugh for a while, enjoying in each other's presence. This brings a hint of a smile to my face, making me feel comfortable inside, but as their laughter subsides, so does the sensation. After they finish drawing, they discuss their pictures. Kairi drew a castle with RG as an insignia, while Sora drew rivers and mountains. Actually, I'm not quite sure what he drew. I sit down since I have nothing else to do here. I can't get out because I'm on an island and the two inhabitants can't see me. It's as if I don't belong here. My eyes drift from them to the door, wondering again why they haven't noticed it. What's causing the light seeping from behind it? Where does it lead? I'm inexplicably drawn to it, imagining myself opening it and peering through the other side. Perhaps that's my way out of here.

However, I don't recall being assigned to do a mission on an island. I try to RTC with a dark portal but find it doesn't work, as always. Everyone at the Organization can make one, but me. If I'm stuck here, then was this a mission of obliteration? Have I already fulfilled my purpose in the Organization?

As I stand up, Kairi and Sora finish admiring their artwork. Sora grabs Kairi's hand to leave, but she pulls away.

"No, wait."

She walks to the right side of the cave to draw something. She glances at Sora every so often.

"Watcha doin' now, Kairi?"

"Drawing you."

"Why?" Sora asks, feigning disinterest.

"Because it's _our_ secret place." Kairi blushes.

He smiles wide, "Yeah!" He grabs another rock and sits next to Kairi, "I'll draw you."

They sit for a few more minutes staring at each other intently and drawing their depictions on the wall.

"Done!" Kairi raises her arms in triumph.

"Me too!"

Kairi has a peculiar way of drawing. She chose to draw his entire face white and leave spots, like his eyes and mouth as the color of the stone. Sora drew her like a child would: horribly.

Kairi doesn't notice how atrocious the drawing is.

"Oh, Sora! Your drawing's cute!"

"Well, yeah." Sora replies indignantly, "It has to be cute because you're…" he stops abruptly.

"Because I'm what?"

He faces the opposite wall, "N-nothing." There's an odd intonation in his voice.

"It's supposed to look like you, okay? I'm sorry if I can't draw well." Sora still hasn't looked back at Kairi.

She smiles, "You're right."

He finally glances up, hopeful.

"You can't draw well."

"Hey!" Sora chases her around the cave. Kairi giggles running around in circles.

"I clearly draw better!" She exclaims.

Kairi stumbles, with Sora finally able to hold her in place, "I draw better."

"Are you sure? Because that looks nothing like me." She gives him a bemused smile, "Have you seen the picture I drew of _you_?"

Without letting her go, Sora looks for her drawing on the wall.

"I made you handsome. You made me ugly." She sighs melodramatically.

Sora scoffs, "No, I didn't! I don't think you're ugly at all!"

Realizing what he said, he turns to her quickly. They stare at each other in silence.

"You don't?" Kairi whispers.

Sora resigns to telling the truth, "I like your pretty, red hair and blue eyes. You have a funny giggle, too."

She can't help but laugh, demonstrating that very giggle, "I like your spikey brown hair and blue eyes, too. You also have a goofy grin. It's crooked sometimes."

His eyes open wide, "Crooked?" He releases her to touch his mouth.

"Oh come on, you lazy bum." Kairi chuckles, "I betcha Riku's looking for us."

Sora perks up, "Oh, yeah! We were going to see who's stronger today."

He grabs Kairi's hand, "Let's go! You've got to cheer for me!"

She smiles, "What if I want to cheer for Riku, too?"

Sora stops to think, "That's fine, too. But I'm gonna win."

Kairi rolls her eyes, "You guys and your duels."

They exit the cave, going right past me without looking in my direction. I walk into the cave, searching for the infamous drawing. As I look at Sora and Kairi's faces freshly drawn on the stone, I feel like it's missing something. I bend down to grab a rock, but stop myself. Wouldn't it seem odd if they found something in the middle of their faces that they didn't do? I shrug off the sensation and make my way to the exit. Before I can even leave the cave, the urge to draw overwhelms me to the point where I ignore common sense and search for a spot on the walls to draw some place where my picture won't be noticed. When the rock touches the stone walls, it is as if I lost control of my limb. My hand moves with quick strokes, forming an image that even I, the artist, have no idea will be.

Once I finish, I step back to analyze it. It oddly resembles Kairi, yet there is a distinct feature about this person that Kairi doesn't have. I notice the hair behind her ear, her hair parted the opposite way.

It's Xion.

I shake my head, wondering why I would draw her and why I'm getting so flustered. Sora's reaction to Kairi comes to mind. I'm not like them. They're Somebodies, not like me. I drop the rock on the floor, making me way out of the cave. I drew Xion. That doesn't mean anything special. She's my most recent memory.

As I step out of the passageway, greeted by the bright morning sun and humid, ocean breeze, I recall that even though I want to leave, I can't RTC like usual. I convince myself that trying once more won't damage my chances of getting out. I walk over to the dock and stare at the tree, the sun falling over the palm leaves, shining through them, the many veins and imperfections of the leaves transparent to the viewer. I touch the tree again and close my eyes, recalling moments when I sat together with two other people here. Their faces are blurry to me, but their presence feels as tangible as the bark past my glove. I will myself to return to the castle. A portal opens in front of me, though not a portal of darkness, the mode of transport commonly used in the Organization. I turn around, looking at the peaceful island one last time, pondering if I'll really be able to return, and step through the darkness.

* * *

My eyes open to a blank, white wall.

I straighten my body, realizing I'm back in the Castle, in the pale room assigned to me when I became part of the Organization. This is not an ordinary circumstance. Usually when I RTC, I appear in the Grey Area, not my room. I place a hand to my forehead, my head hurting slightly. Could that have been a dream?

I shake my head. It was so vivid to have been one. I was able to interact with my surroundings, draw on the wall, breath in the moisture in the air. If it was a dream, did I imagine the island? I consider myself to have an avid imagination, but something as intricate and perfect as that island, I don't believe myself being able to do.

Did I make up Kairi and Sora? Is that why they couldn't see me? I could have made Kairi from my memories of Xion. Sora resembled me. Maybe I was imagining myself in a child's form. Even so, the island is inexplicable. If the people originated from my memories, then where did the island come from? I've never seen a beach. I didn't know they existed until a few minutes ago. Who was Riku? I put my hands on both sides of my head, sighing in exasperation.

A light knock on my door interrupts my thoughts.

"Roxas?" I recognize Xion's voice.

"It's open."

She steps through the door timidly, donning the black Organization cloak we all wear. "Good morning."

"Morning."

"Are you okay?" She tilts her head to the side, "You seem aggravated—if that's possible."

I stare at her in surprise. For being a Nobody, she's perceptive when it comes to emotions. However, are these things I feel _emotions_ or memories of emotions? If it is a memory, would I be able to deceive myself with it? Could the memories of our past selves act as anchors for us? We don't know how to feel. We know how we _should_ feel. In the end, are these really emotions, or simply memories? Will Nobodies ever own something? Will we ever be original?

"Roxas?"

I realize I never replied to Xion's question. "Sorry. I got lost in thought. I'm fine."

"What were you thinking about?"

I hesitate. I don't want to get into a discussion with her and be interrupted in the middle of it. I stand up and walk to my door, opening it. I look to the left and right of the hallway, making sure no one is around.

"You don't have to be anywhere else, right?" I ask her.

She shakes her head, "No, I just came to see you."

I frown in confusion, "Why?"

She shrugs, "I don't know. I felt that's what friends do."

If she's reacting according to my observations, her feelings of what friendships consist of come from her memories of her past self. She couldn't have drawn this conclusion herself.

"Do you wonder why you feel these," I search for the most fitting word, "impulses?"

"What impulses?" she asks, sitting down on my bed.

"Coming to see me. You said that's what you thought friends did, right?"

She nods, "Yeah. But, I also _wanted_ to see you. It was an impulse, but it wasn't based off what I _thought_ friends do. I _did_ think about what people do as friends, be that as it may, my coming here was purely my choice. Why do you ask?"

I find myself having to reassess all the observations about Nobodies I'd made. Could my assumptions only apply to me?

"So you didn't react on what your memories told you friends did?" I question.

"What memories? How can I react to something I don't remember? What are you trying to say, Roxas? Are you remembering something?"

My dream comes to mind in a flash of images. If it was a dream, does that make me more of an individual? If it was a memory, am I getting closer to discovering who I am, whom I was created from? Will denying the dream entirely help me understand who _I _really am, regardless of my past self?

"The truth is, I don't know what it was." I finally say.

"So you _did_ remember something?" She persists.

"I don't know if it was a memory. All I know is that it felt so real. The place, the people, everything."

She smiles. Something jolts in my empty chest, confusing me since nothing's in there.

"I wish I was like you, Roxas. I want to remember things, too."

I sympathetically smile at her, "I'm sure you'll remember something soon."

"Yeah."

"Get this." I change the subject.

"What?"

"In my dream, there was a little boy with a little girl. They were exploring a cave on an island I haven't seen."

"An…island." Xion says slowly.

"Yeah. It was beautiful. The beach was very soothing."

"What's a beach?"

I touch my chin, wondering how to explain something that can only be understood by seeing it.

"Well, it's like being stuck in the middle of the ocean with nothing but water all around you."

"That sounds kind of scary."

"It isn't." I chuckle, "Although at first, I got a little nervous. But then you get used to it. Everything seems so beautiful as the waves crash onto the shore; the stickiness from the humidity tickles the hairs lining your head and arms. It's peaceful. The sun never seems to get too hot."

Xion leans back and closes her eyes as if she's on the beach herself, "I wish I could have been there."

"We should go see a real one together." I suggest with excitement, "You, me, and Axel when he gets back."

Xion opens her eyes, straightening up, "That'd be nice."

An awkward silence fills the room.

"Anyways," I attempt to remedy, "The kid at some point had a weird reaction when the girl touched him."

"What'd she do?"

"Nothing special. She just held onto his arm. But you should have seen his face."

"Why?"

"It suddenly got beet red."

"Red? Why would it do that?"

I shrug, "I have no idea. Maybe when we get hearts, the same thing will happen to us."

"How'd she grab him?" Xion wonders.

I try to hold my own arm but fail to demonstrate anything. "I can't do it myself."

Xion stands up, "I'll help."

I nod, "Put your arms around mine, like you're hugging it close. Pretend to be scared."

"Scared? How do I do that?"

"Didn't you say you thought being on an island was scary? I guess you can just think about that."

Xion nods. I give her my arm to hold. She slowly clings onto it, bringing me closer to her. The familiar pain in my chest returns. The room suddenly rises in temperature.

"Is this it?" Xion asks, "Or was it closer?"

She lines her body with mine, closing any space between us. The pain in my chest worsens. It's hard to even hear myself think.

"I don't see how this makes anyone turn beet red. Do you, Roxas?" she looks up at me.

I turn to glance at her with caution, but that's a mistake. Our proximity made it hard to speak.

"Roxas?"

"Mmm." I mutter, "I don't see how this makes anyone red, either."

She starts chuckling.

"What?" I wonder, taking a step away from her.

"Looks like it worked. Maybe hugging naturally makes others red. I should try it with the other members of the Organization to see if it works with them, too."

I suddenly feel a different kind of pain, a nagging uncertainty stabbing me in the back of my head, "No."

Surprised, she asks: "What? Why not?"

I clear my throat, not understanding my own actions either. "They'll think you're weird. Let's keep this between us."

"We'll tell Axel." She muses, "Even though I've hardly talked to him, I feel that he's already my friend."

I pout involuntarily. I suppose Axel's fine.

Xion approaches me, getting closer, "It hasn't gone down one bit."

The heat in the room grows exponentially. She touches one of my cheeks and rubs it gently.

"It doesn't come off." She removes her right glove and tries again, her cold hand sending chills up my spine.

I turn in the other direction, "Xion, I think I get it. It'll probably go down in a few minutes."

The door opens with a bang, startling the both of us.

Demyx stands at the entrance, "Hey guys." Noticing my redness, Demyx exclaims, "Whoa! What happened to your face?"

Xion looks at me, asking me with her eyes if she could show him. I answer her with mine with a no.

"Nothing happened, Demyx. What is it?" Xion responds for me.

Demyx shrugs, "Fine. Don't tell me. Anyhow, don't you guys have a mission? Saïx's been naggin' at me to find you two. You're in _trouble_."

I sigh in exasperation. Demyx is the only member of the Organization that has the most _pene_trating personality.

"We'll be right there."

Demyx walks out of the room.

"Hey, it went away. Guess Demyx is the cure."

I groan, "Great. Now I can show my face to Saïx without being laughed at."

Xion smiles, "I wouldn't say that. I thought you looked cute."

The word catches my attention.

"Why cute?"

She shrugs, "I don't know. You felt cute."

Her statement doesn't make any sense to me. Could she possibly _feel_ a memory? When the mind can't remember, can the body? If that's true, then is Xion the most original of us all?

"Let's head out." Xion says, "Wonder what he's got assigned for us today."

I shrug all my thoughts off, focusing on things that demand immediate attention, "Let's find out."

* * *

We enter the Grey Area with only Xigbar, Luxord, Demyx, Xaldin, and Saïx sitting or standing there. I'm disappointed to see that Axel still hasn't gotten here yet. I want Xion to meet him.

"Where have you two been? Do I need to send a messenger after you to know your whereabouts every time?" Saïx angrily demands.

We meekly stare at the floor. I mumble a sorry.

He sighs through his teeth, "Very well. You are here now. I presume that I will see you here earlier from now on, yes?"

We nod.

"Good." He returns his attention to the rest of the group, "I've called this assembly earlier than usual today to announce that a few of our members," he pauses, "have been destroyed—"

It's as if I'm buffeted in the stomach.

"—At Castle Oblivion. Very unfortunate. It's useless dwelling on the events of the past. We must focus on the task at hand: Kingdom Hearts."

I can't hold myself back, "What about Axel? Is he okay?"

Saïx raises his eyebrows, "What is this? Feigned anguish?"

I ball my hands into fists in anger, "I'm not feigning anything! Where's Axel? That was my question. _My_ _concern_. What happened to him?"

Xion stands next to me, exuding support.

Saïx turns away from us, "Axel wasn't found."

My eyes widen, "You mean you don't know where he _is_?"

Yet another type of pain pulses against my chest. However, this one is different from before. This one hurts.

"You couldn't find him anywhere?" Xion asks for me, placing a calming hand on my shoulder. I can no longer speak with ease; the sensation in my interior impedes me from doing so. I gaze at her, trying to find answers I know she doesn't have.

Saïx scoffs, "We couldn't find him because he's the one we think was destroyed." The pain pulses full force. Saïx glares at Xion and I condescendingly. He's lying. I attempt to return his glare, but fail. I've been too conditioned to not disobey anyone here.

"Now, pull yourselves together. You have a mission. I won't be sending you as partners anymore."

Xion and I gaze at each other as if this is our final goodbye.

She smiles weakly at me, "Now, don't look so sad—it's not like we can, right?"

She pats my back gently. I can't let her see me like this.

"So, where are you sending us?" I inquire Saïx who eyes me oddly.

"Each mission is a separate matter. You, Roxas, go get ready while I tell, it—Xion—what to do."

I frown. Why doesn't he want me to know? I force myself to walk away from the center, making my way to the Moogle at the entrance.

It greets me, "Hey, kupo! You've been awarded the Novice Rank. This enables you higher access to weapons and other items otherwise unavailable to you. Now, what would you like to buy, sell, synthesize, or redeem?"

I haven't done many Holo-missions so I can't redeem anything. I pack some Hi-potions, Elixirs, and Limit Breaks. I rearrange my panels, adding new abilities I learned. Everything barely fits. I save my status with him so I don't forget what I have.

The Moogle nods at me, "Thank you, kupo! See you again and good luck!"

I nod somberly, returning to Saïx just as Xion takes her leave.

"Good luck!" I yell to her.

She turns as the portal's closing and gives me an equally somber smile before putting on her hood and hiding her face. I watch her back as it disappears in the darkness.

"Roxas."

I return my gaze to Saïx, "Yes, sir."

"Your mission today is to do reconnaissance in a new world. Don't be seen. But to assure that, Xigbar is going with you."

"Wha—" I start.

"No questions. Begin."

He can silence me outwardly, but not my thoughts. Why Xigbar? If I need a partner, what's so wrong with Xion?

Xigbar opens a portal, "Come on. Don't got all day."

I wonder why I can't make a portal of my own. I haven't been able to even conjure any powers of darkness. Perhaps it's my rank. Although Xion's younger than me and she already can. Most importantly, where is Axel? Is he really gone? What happens to Nobodies when they're destroyed?

I pass through the portal, taking one last look at the Grey Area, wondering if I want to come back at all.

* * *

We arrive in a hot, sunny, and sandy world.

A liquid wells up in my eyes. I wipe them to clear my vision.

"Well, let's start." Xigbar orders.

I don't respond. Even after the news of the deaths of our members, he didn't even care. It was like nothing happened.

"What?" He asks indifferently.

"Doesn't it bother you at all?" I venture to ask.

"Oh, you mean what happened at Castle Oblivion? As if." He laughs.

I glare but restrain myself, courtesy of my conditioning. "But we could have lost a comrade."

"So? Oh, I can see how that'll be a problem."

I finally feel like Xigbar has some sense of concern.

"Now with less Organization members, we'll need to change Organization XIII to _VII_!"

I shake my head in disgust. This guy thinks everything's a joke. There's no use even disputing with him.

"What happens to a Nobody when they're destroyed? What's left behind?" I ask through gritted teeth.

He shrugs, "Nothing. They're just gone. There's no heart in there and we were never meant to _be_ in the first place, so it would make sense for us to 'poof'."

The pain in my chest moves to my throat. Swallowing becomes difficult.

"So, I'll never see them again?" I struggle to say.

He shakes his head, "Nope. Let's go. The sooner we recon, the faster you'll get all your answers."

* * *

The rest of the mission is a blur. I come back when it's time to RTC. I miss Xion. She would have understood how I felt. How I'm feeling. Xigbar walks through the portal.

Is Axel really gone? Will I never see him again? What's happening at Castle Oblivion? Why wont' Saïx tell me anything? I only want to know if he's all right. It's only natural to want friends to be safe. I'm not imagining this. This isn't a memory, is it? I grab my head with my hands, crouching to the floor.

Have I wanted a friend safe before? _Blurry images._ Have I had a friend like Axel? _Blurry faces._ Who was he? _The images clear up slowly._ Why was he my friend? No, that can't be it. The question I need answered is—_The image clears-a boy about my age with silver hair appears. I know his name._

_Then, who _am _I?_

….

_"Come on, Sora. I thought you were stronger than that."_

_"Get real! Look which one of us is winning."_

….

A white room. A girl with blond hair and piercing light blue eyes. She smiles, "Who are you?"

* * *

_Day 1 _

I wake up with a gasp.

My head pounds like Demyx's playing his sitar full blast. I convince myself to calm down. My breathing slows. I open my ears to the sounds around me. The crashing of waves, splashing, and familiar laughter reverberate through my head. It wasn't Demyx playing his sitar after all. Before I open my eyes, I hear someone walking towards me. I blink several times, trying to adjust to light. The blue sky covers the expanse of my vision. Anew, I'm immersed in the beauty of another world. I sit up and realize I'm back on the island. Once again, I question my sense of reality. Is this real, or not?

I lay back down, catching a glimpse of red and blue. I blink twice as I stare into the eyes of a girl about four years younger than me with a striking resemblance to Xion.

"Kairi? Why are you older?"

"You're a lazy bum just like Sora—wait, did you just call me Kairi?"

A sudden flash of the blonde girl comes to mind, momentarily taking place of Kairi's face, then Xion's face covers the blonde girl's, only for both faces to disappear and have Kairi's face replace them.

I blink several times, ridding myself of all the confusion.

"What're you doin' here? How'd you know my name?" Kairi continues.

"Uh…lucky guess?" I try, without a single idea how to evade her question.

"That's a little _too_ lucky if you ask me." She answers skeptically.

"Your eyes." I try again, "They remind me of the ocean, so I thought that you'd have, 'kai' in your name. 'Ri' just happens to be a good ending for a name so I just thought…" Clearly, I'm not in my right mind right now.

It would make things extremely awkward if she found out I spied on her and Sora when they were younger. Speaking of which, where is Sora?

Where's Axel? Even though Saïx told me he was destroyed, I don't want to believe it. Saïx is a very secretive man and this might be another one of those. Yet, I can't help but wonder why he would want to make everyone think Axel's dead like the other five members?

I take a moment to give my mental condolences to my lost comrades. For Vexen, you were always creepy. For Zexion, you were always smart. For Larxene, you always hated me. For Lexaeus, you were always monstrously huge. And for Marluxia, you were always very hard to distinguish. I was never sure if you were a man or a woman, but I know that you left us with style, probably leaving a pile of roses in your midst. Axel's not dead, so he's not getting any mental condolences. If he is, I'll spend the rest of my Nobody days in denial since he was my first friend.

"Hello-o-o? Anybody in there?" Kairi waves her hand back and forth over my eyes. I realize that I've been lying down the entre time. I sit up.

Kairi laughs, putting her hand to her lips, "I was right. You _are_ a lazy bum."

I scratch the back of my head and turn to look at the ocean; its infinite distance overwhelms me. Will that ocean ever lead to an end?

I put my arm over my raised knee and rest my head, staring at the blue sea, ignoring Kairi.

"Watcha lookin' at?" Kairi asks, sitting down next to me.

Like the mind of a typical child, she's already lost interest in how I knew her name.

"Just the ocean." I answer, "There aren't many beaches where I'm from."

This catches her attention and I realize I made a mistake.

"Where _are_ you from?"

Here come a barrage of questions.

"Did you wash up here? But you're not wet. So then, how did you get here? What's your name—"

I raise my hand and shush her nicely with a smile; eyebrows furrowed, trying told hold back a laugh, "I'll answer one of those."

"Why not all of them?" She rests her head on her knees.

I tilt my head up to the sky, then the ocean, "Because I only know one."

She raises her head as I turn to her.

"My name's Roxas. It's nice to formally meet you, Kairi."

* * *

**SL**: This is the updated version of Chapter 2! Hope you guys liked it! Things are going to start veering from the game from now on. What's going on? What's real and what's not? Is he dreaming or is he living a memory? What does all this mean for Xion? Why did I _mention _Xion? What happened to Axel? What's that guy doing? Will Roxas die of depression? (Spoiler...no, he doesn't...)

Anyways, look forward to the next chapter of Infallibility!


	4. Mission of Nostalgia

**SL:** **I'M DONE WITH FINAAAAALSSSS!**

A few things:

Now that that's out of my system, I would like to present to you the long delayed chapter three! It's not as exciting as I am right now for finally being able to post something without the guilt ripping through my organs for procrastinating for a few hours. Now, I can write in peace. Which means I'll be able to update more regularly. Not with a set schedule or anything, since I'm on vacation, but expect to get chapters up sooner. Good thing I already have all these written down in my notebook. All I have to do is type and edit them on my computer. :))

I would also like to dedicate this chapter to SapphireRose, awesomefanficlova, and the guest Zigbon for either leaving comments or having faith in my story and following/favoriting me. Thanks, you guys! If there are more out there that like what they read, please feel free to review, follow, or favorite my story. I might even dedicate the next chapter to you, hmmmm...

So thanks again to those that viewed, reviewed, followed, and/or favorited Infallibility. I'll let you get to reading!

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 3: **

**Mission of Nostalgia **

Xion

Roxas is the first thing on my mind as soon as I return from my mission.

I'm anxious to tell him how scary it was to fight the Heartless by myself, now that I know what's its like having him by my side to back me up. I also want to tell him that I've been looking for Axel but he's nowhere to be seen. I know he's not gone. He can't be. I haven't been able to meet him yet. I enter the Grey Area, asking if Roxas returned from his mission.

"Lookin' for the kiddo?" Xigbar answers me, "He's takin' a snooze—has been for some while now."

I walk through the many corridors of the Castle That Never Was, finally reaching Roxas's room. I find him asleep on his bed, as Xigbar said. I sigh, putting my hands in my pockets. My hand touches something with a peculiar texture. Curious, I take it out and instantly recognize it. I place it near Roxas's pillow.

"This is a shell, Roxas. I got it from a beach in another world called Destiny Islands. I know you'll love it. You were right. About everything. The sun never got too hot."

I caress his face, moving some hair out of his eyes. It springs back into place. I scoff, giving up.

"I hope we get to see it together soon. Then we can explore all the nooks and crannies of the place." I bring my head down to his cheek before leaving, "Just wake up soon, okay?"

I step out and close the door quietly behind me, leaving the shell in my place.

* * *

Roxas

"Roxas…" Kairi ponders, "How do you spell it?" She stares eagerly, waiting.

I sigh, writing my name in the sand.

She nods and writes another word next to it. "It looks like Sora's name."

I tilt my head to the side, finding it interesting that rearranging the letters and taking out the x makes his name. "Would you look at that?"

Kairi smiles again, "I should call Riku over to meet you."

"Riku?" I pause, an image of silver hair flashes through my mind. I haven't met him yet, but how do I know what he looks like? Could he and I be linked in some way?

"I love Riku." Kairi continues, "He's one of my best friends. You'll like him."

I nod, "And Sora's your other best friend?"

Kairi's face changes from playful to pensive. Another emotion clouds her eyes. I look away with discretion. Somehow that look is not meant for me.

"Where is he?" I ask, trying to change the atmosphere.

She shrugs, "He's not on Destiny Islands. Not on this one, at least. I think he's on one of the other islands. But he never said anything. He was just gone one day. I don't know when he's coming back." Her expression becomes melancholy. In an instant, she's happy again, "But I hope he gets here in time for you to meet him!"

I nod jaggedly, not quite adjusting to her emotional changes.

"He's a great guy."

I nod again.

"Oh! But so is Riku! Here, I'll call him."

I nod once more, watching as she cleans the sand off her purple skirt, running to a side of the island blocked off by a shack. She disappears behind it. The crashing of the waves onto the shore soothes my overexerted ears. Kairi's nice, but talkative. I feel like I've just been through a typhoon. Bizarrely enough, as she speaks, there are times when I feel like I'm talking to Xion. Maybe I miss her abundantly enough to imagine her in a little, talkative girl. It doesn't help that they look so much alike. The only differences are their hair color and personalities. In a few minutes, I see Kairi walking in the distance, pulling the arm of a silver-haired boy.

My eyes widen. I've seen him before—maybe in my past life. How else would I know him? Did I meet him as myself or as the past me? If I remember him, could he help me recall who I used to be? If this is real, is this a memory? Could this be a dream?

"-xas."

Is none of this real?

"Ro-"

Is nothing about _me_ real?

"Rox-"

Is this all a figment of my imagination?

"Roxas!" A male voice shouts as he pushes me onto the sand.

"Riku!" Kairi yells, "That was mean! Here," Kairi holds out her hand.

"Well, he wasn't saying anything. He was just staring. I thought he needed some convincing." Riku justifies.

I take her small hand, tiny compared to mine, and stand up.

"Thanks," I mumble, brushing off the sand from my coat with my left hand.

She doesn't let go of my other hand. She notices and jerks it away, "Oh, ha-ha. Sorry." She rubs her hands together, "It was bigger than I expected."

Riku frowns at me. I innocently look back. Am I interrupting something?

I finish brushing off the sand when Kairi speaks, "Well, time for introductions. Riku, Roxas. Roxas, Riku."

I wave a hand. "Hi."

Riku crosses his arms, "Hmph."

Kairi leans over to my ear and whispers: "He's always like that. Don't mind him."

I glance back at Riku and watch his eyes tear me to shreds. I step back from Kairi. He turns to look at the ocean. I don't think we'll be best buds like Kairi thought.

"Um…do you mind if I ask?" Kairi tugs at my coat, "Aren't you hot?"

As soon as she asks, I feel the heat creeping down my neck and back.

"A little." I admit.

"Well, then, take the coat off!" she laughs.

Her eagerness bothers me. I hesitate. I've never taken my uniform off. Ever since I joined the Organization I've only worn this. Of course, I'm wearing something underneath, but it's never been exposed before. I grab at my zipper, turning to face the other side of the island bashfully. I free my arms first, letting my coat hit the sand, and step out of it. A breeze hits my naked torso for the first time since I was created. My exposed back tingles as sweat trickles down my skin. I throw my gloves onto my coat, opening and closing my hands, getting re-accustomed to the raw and exhilarating sensation of skin-to-skin contact. I remove my black shoes and socks, digging my feet into the sand. Different textures equate to different sensations, both equally pleasurable. I take a deep breath, relieving myself of all my Organizational preoccupations. After I'm done, leaving my pants on, I turn to Kairi and Riku, ready for plunging into the ocean water.

Kairi's face turns bright red. Riku puts his hand over her eyes.

"What's _wrong_ with you?" He demands to know. "Haven't you ever heard of a _shirt_ before?"

I nod in all sincerity, "Of course I have. It's just not customary to use one under the coat. It affects mobility. Isn't this a beach? Is it normal to jump into the sea with clothes on?"

Riku scoffs with arrogance, "Some! Yeah!"

A cool breeze sweeps through the area. Small bumps I'd never felt before line my entire body.

"Riku!" Kairi yanks his hand away from her eyes, "Stop being so immature. You go around shirtless, too! When you were younger, you wouldn't even wear shorts—"

"Kairi! I get it!" He scoffs, folding his arms against his chest again.

"So, don't you want to take a swim?" Kairi suggests.

Suddenly, I am rooted to the spot. "Swim? How do you do that?"

She laughs, "Like this, silly!" She removes her shoes, rushing to the shore, arms open to the water. I charge over, but stop before the water touches my feet.

"Roxas! Riku! What are you guys waiting for? The water's warm today!" Kairi encourages.

Riku finally allows a smile to his face. He takes his shirt off as he's running into the water, throwing his sandals behind, leaving them sprawled on the sand. He whoops, swimming toward Kairi, splashing water on her. Between laughs, Kairi calls out to me.

"Roxas!" Her face is a mirror image of Xion's, "Let's go!" Xion's face disappears, Kairi's youthful semblance returns.

I blink, clearing my head. Why do I keep seeing her? She's not here.

"Roxas!"

I'm surprised to hear Riku call out my name. I look up.

"Stop ignoring us! Come in or not!"

"Are you coming in with pants?" Kairi asks.

"I don't have anything else to wear." I explain.

I take a few cautionary steps into the water, confirming Kairi's statement. It _is_ really warm. I sink into the bank, walking to where the kids swim. The water reaches my chest while it reaches their necks. Being underwater can only be described as wrapping the body around rain and keeping it there. There's no comparison for how weightless and compressed a person's body feels like in water. I'm light and heavy all at once. My pants stick to my legs while floating around them simultaneously. I lean my head back, closing my eyes, the water seeping into the untouched surfaces of my body. My ears hear the light drone of nothingness.

A stained glass floor appears behind my eyelids. Suddenly gravity pulls me down further. I jolt out of the water, startled.

"What?" Kairi worries, "You okay?"

I shake my head, getting the water out of my ears. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just need some getting used to this."

Kairi nods with a smile, "You'll get it. Just don't forget to breathe if you're going to float in the water."

I scoff at myself. Of course I'm going to sink if I don't breathe. "Duly noted."

I run a hand over my drooping hair, getting it out of my eyes. I watch Kairi flush again. I don't understand why that keeps happening to her. I'm not even hugging her.

She looks down at the water, moving her fingers through it in a swirling formation. A small whirlpool forms with the circulating current. Her redness recedes. She looks up at me before I lean back into the water again, searching for something in my eyes. I peer back through my dripping bangs, waiting.

She approaches me, gazing intently.

"Kairi, what are you doing?" Riku swims toward us.

She ignores him. My eyes veer from side to side, seeking answers to my arising questions. What am I supposed to do? What's happening to her?

She places her hands on my cheeks, freezing time and space around us. Her single word rips through the air.

"Sora?"

I become rigid, the name sounding familiar, yet foreign. The cognitive dissonance disconcerts me. I place my hands on her small shoulders in an attempt to push her back. But as I do that, I make the mistake of linking eyes with her.

Her face reflects Xion's face. I blink hard, ridding myself of the image. Clearly, I am facing a red haired girl and _not_ Xion.

"Kairi," I force myself to say, "I'm not So—"

"No." She interrupts authoritatively, "Your eyes, your face. Sora, is that you?"

Xion's face slowly disappears.

"Kairi, I'm not Sora." I correct her, feeling more confident with my mind now that I am looking at things as they should appear.

She refuses to believe me, "But you are! You're him! You're Sora!" Suddenly, she's frantic to prove that I am her childhood friend. Why does she want me to be him so badly? Did something happen to him?

"But…why are you older?" She rationalizes after I don't say a word, searching my face for answers.

I grab her hands and sink them in the water, "I'm not Sora. My name is Roxas."

She shakes her head slightly, still attempting to deny what I've said. Kairi's face contorts to an expression I cannot replicate even if I knew the name of the emotion. She appears to be in excruciating, internal pain, incapable of finding solace or freedom from her incapacitation. Have I ever made an expression like that?

"Kairi…" Riku mumbles, having no words from which to comfort her.

I smile weakly at her against the frigid atmosphere, "Don't be sad, Kairi. Sora'll come back soon."

She attempts to smile back with poor execution. "I-I don't know what came over me. Sorry, Roxas. I'm very sorry." She turns the other way, swimming back to the shore. Once she reaches it, she grabs her shoes in one hand and runs to the other side of the island. Riku looks from me to her, but finally chooses to hurry after her, leaving me to literally wallow in silence.

I float alone in the water, my arms and legs spread out before me, listening to the sound of nothingness. I watch the sky darken with the light of the setting sun receding under the horizon, encompassing my disconcerting pseudo-emotions.

I close my eyes, welcoming the darkness, "Xion…"

Why does she look so much like you?

* * *

Xion

"Still sleeping for the whole day? I just came back from another mission, Roxas."

I caress his cheek again, placing a second shell near his pillow. I sit on the edge of his bed and stare at him in silent hopes that he will suddenly awaken. My worry only grows with the passing hours. Is it normal for him to be sleeping like this?

"Hey! Did you know I fought a huge Heartless today? It was really scary and huge. It appeared in Twilight Town, too. I know—very surprising. Twilight Town is so peaceful, yet Heartless love to gather there. I can't imagine what would happen if they hurt the civilians."

I listen to my own voice making conversation to an unconscious person. It dawns on me that maybe I should feel ridiculous, but oddly enough, I don't. Roxas did this for me the first days of my birth. I can only return the favor.

"I saw that trio that we'd seen before on the clock tower. I think their names are Hayner, Pence and Olette. They were going around Twilight Town trying to find the 'Seven Wonders.' I followed them out of curiosity and because I had free time, but I got bored since none of them weren't true.

"So, I went up to the clock tower after defeating the Heartless and ate Sea-salt ice cream. I became addicted to the flavor ever since you showed it to me. Not to mention it was one of the first flavors I ever tasted. Didn't you tell me that it was Axel's favorite?"

I lower my gaze to the floor, "I'm about to go out and look for him again, Roxas. But I wanted to come by and say 'be right back' before I left."

I stand up from the firm bed, moving his bangs to the side, only to watch them return over his eyes once more.

I chuckle, "See you later, Roxas."

Opening the door, I step out, taking a final glance at his sleeping body before closing the door softly.

* * *

_Shell 2 x Day 2  
_

Roxas

My aural and tactile senses process my surroundings before my eyes. Heat and humidity beats on my face and chest. Misty air envelops my body. Even with these clues, I assume I'm back at the Castle That Never Was, in my pale, blank room on my firm bed.

"Roxas? You awake?" says a familiar voice.

I rub my eyes, while stretching my legs. A sudden chill comes over me. I open my eyes in shock, my mind blocking what it doesn't want to see, only focusing on Xion's face.

"Xion, where am I—"

"Roxas."

Xion's face slowly reverts to an eleven-year-old Kairi.

"Kairi? What am I still doing here? Where is _here_, anyway? Why haven't I woken up from this dream, yet?"

Kairi stares at me in confusion, looking around herself.

"This is Destiny Islands, Roxas. You slept on the beach. You've been here the whole night."

I put my hand on my forehead, attempting to push back the pounding sensation.

Was this never a dream? If that is so, then _what_ is this? A horrible thought occurs to me. Could it be that the world _I'm_ from is a dream? Have I been dreaming all this time and just woken up for the first time? I cradle my head in my hands, moaning. Something like that is impossible. Xion is real. She's not someone I made up. This place has to be either a dream or reality.

"Roxas, are you okay?" Kairi places her hand on my bare shoulder. "Sorry about yesterday. I shouldn't have run off like that. You just surprised me. The resemblance between you and Sora's scary."

I calm down melancholically, "Where am I?"

I notice she carries clothes in her small arms.

"Oh. This is my house. Riku stays here once in a while. More often that not when Sora isn't around, since him and Sora are real close. Actually, all three of us are." She quickly shakes her head, "Well, enough about us. Riku helped me carry you here after we went back to look for you to ask if you had a place to sleep." She smiles, "But we found you asleep on the shore."

I nod, putting the events of last night into sequence.

Kairi sways her body back and forth, "Um…I got you this while you were sleeping." She hands me the clothes in her arm, and then bends down to pick up something under the bed. "Here. I hope you don't mind me using your shoes to get your size."

I shake my head, grabbing them. I smile gratefully at her, not used to this much hospitality anywhere, "Thanks, Kairi. Did you wake up early to get all this?"

"You're welcome. And no, its actually 1300 right now. You've been asleep for about 14 hours."

I widen my eyes in surprise, "That long?"

She nods. "Yeah, You must have been exhausted since when I found you last night, you were already sleeping."

I frown. Why have I been doing that lately? "Oh."

She chuckles, walking toward the door, "Lazy bum."

I tilt my head to the side, perturbed that she keeps calling me that. I'm not accustomed to doing this at all.

She laughs, "Try the clothes on. I want to see if they fit." She steps out and closes the door behind her.

* * *

Kairi

I lean my back against the door, exhaling slowly. I put my hand over my face to stifle a cry. He's Sora. He pouts like him, looks like him, acts like him. I don't know why he's here, but that boy's Sora. This means that something happens to _him_, something that eliminates _him_ from this world. Is the age Roxas is in now representative of when _that event_ happens to Sora? He's so close, so close but he couldn't be any farther. If Roxas is here, where are _you_, Sora?

* * *

Roxas

I slip on the last article of clothing Kairi bought me: a vest with short sleeves. The cloth feels refreshing and breathable, perfect for this kind of weather. Wearing a black vest with another vest on top feels a little odd, but I like how she coordinated the colors. I zip up the vest underneath, contemplating the symbol on the slider. I can't tell if it is a cross or an X.

I open the door of the house, immediately immersed in the outside, salty breeze. Somehow, Kairi's house is able to expel most of the sun's heat. It must be in the carpentry. As I take a closer look at the handy work, I notice that the houses are built quite messily, with wooden boards on top of each other. However anti-aesthetic it may seem, this structure still gets the job done.

I look around only to realize I'm in one of the tree houses I saw yesterday. I look to the left to admire the view from this altitude. The sea shines majestically with the sunlight hitting it's waves, making the whole surface of the ocean seem as if it's glittering. Nothing that I've ever seen in my short days of life can match the magnificence of the ocean. I sigh involuntarily, the empty place in my chest squeezing.

Even though I'm at peace with myself, what I now recognize as loneliness and anxiety pesters me inside. If I ever wanted to leave this place, would I be able to?

"Roxas!"

I follow the voice to the shore. Kairi comes into sight. I wave.

"Did they fit?" She yells.

"Yeah!" I nod, "Thanks again!"

She signals with her hand for me to go down. I look to the nearby tree and jump off the wooden veranda, double-sliding to reach it, figuring that this is less work than climbing down the wooden ladder I'd spotted on my reconnaissance.

Kairi shakes her head when I reach her, "Did you _have_ to do that? That ladder's right over there."

I shrug. It doesn't hurt to maintain myself agile in this world in case any Heartless show up. Speaking of Heartless, so far, there haven't been any. I wonder what it is that's keeping them off this world.

"You don't seem too surprised." I smirk, "Telling me this has happened before?"

Kairi rolls her eyes, her gaze distant. Clearly I remind her of someone, most likely Sora.

"You look good." She changes the subject. "I've got a good eye."

I tug at my new clothes, self-consciously, "Thanks…"

"Hey, I want you to meet some friends of mine." Again, I am swept with her tangents.

"There are more people on the island?"

She frowns in confusion, "Of course there are! Did you think it was just me and Riku?"

I shrug, staring at the ground, "I didn't know what to think."

Kairi scrunches her lips together in thought, "Hold on. I forgot to give you this" She sticks her hand in her small pocket and takes out a checkered sweatband and two matching checkered rings: one black and one white.

She grins as she hands them to me, "I thought they would look stylish."

I slip them on, admiring the accessories. "Thanks, Kairi. Really. I feel like I've told you that a million times already."

"That's no problem to me, of course." She smiles, suddenly grabbing my hand and yanking me toward the other side of the island.

"Whoa!" I exclaim in surprise.

Laughing, she says, "I want you to see them already! Let's go! Riku's with them, too!"

I shake my head with a smirk, wondering how she thought that last bit would convince me the most.

We run past the waterfall, the shack, and the dock that leads to the separate island with the slanted tree. I slow her down to observe it.

"What's that tree called?" I ask.

Kairi follows my gaze, "That's the Paopu tree. It has star-shaped fruit that tastes delicious. Legend has it that if two people share one, their destinies become intertwined. They'll remain a part of each other's lives no matter what."

I raise an eyebrow, "No matter what, huh?" Xion and Axel come to mind. What if we could share one?

"Does it have to be two people?"

Kairi puts a hand to her chin, "I don't know. Maybe. Anyways, enough delays. Let's go!"

She takes me to the opposite side of the island, going through an old door. I take in my surroundings in a new light as I see three kids around Kairi's age competing with each other on the odd terrain. They jump across a bridge split off into sections that looks like it could break at any moment. The boy with spiky, red hair steps on a weak part of the dilapidating bridge and falls to the shallow water underneath. The spunky, brown-haired girl laughs.

"Sucks to be you, Wakka!"

The older boy runs to catch up to her and their other blonde friend. I watch as they race on what I barely understand is an obstacle course. I admire how they use the trees and protruding parts of the mountain as stepping-stones to aid them, or more accurately, cheat. The three of them are closing in to where Kairi and I stand at the entrance. It looks like it'll be a tie.

Suddenly, the girl pushes Wakka and the other boy to the side, knocking them into each other, successfully winning the race.

"Selphie! That wasn't fair!"

The girl, Selphie, smirks at the blonde, "You should never underestimate a girl, Tidus. Right, Kairi?" She turns to us, changing her expression as she sees me, "Oh, is this who you were talking about? You were right. He looks like Sora."

The boys forget about the unfairness of the game and focus on me.

"He does!" Tidus confirms.

"Alright, guys. Come closer. Let me introduce you." We close our proximity until we're all standing in front of each other.

Before Kairi says a word, I notice someone's missing. "Where's Riku?"

"He'll show up." She assures me nonchalantly.

Kairi introduces me first, "Gang, this is Roxas. Roxas, meet the gang."

I wave bashfully, "Hi."

"Roxas, this is Tidus." She points to the blonde wearing a yellow vest and odd shorts. One side is short and the other doesn't reach the bottom of his sandals.

"Hey." I greet.

"'Sup." He says back.

"This is Wakka." She points me to the other guy with a vest, his hair lifting into the air, defying gravity. I wasn't able to appreciate its similarities to mine until he stood up close.

"How's it goin', man?" He welcomes. "Like the hair."

I smile, "Not bad yourself."

"And last, but not least," Kairi continues, "Selphie. The only other girl in the group." I regard the girl's yellow sundress as it accentuates her emerald, green eyes.

"Hi there, handsome." She giggles.

I look down, instantly.

"Oh, look! He's blushing! How cute!" Selphie smacks the two guys on the arm, "Why can't you two be as cute as him?"

I hug my left arm against my body in embarrassment, not knowing what to say. I hadn't given this much thought until now, but everyone here is significantly younger than me. Although I haven't established any set age for girls I prefer, younger ones don't appeal to me as much.

While Tidus, Wakka, and Selphie argue, Kairi whispers to me, "Now that you've met them, let's go back to the other side. There's something I want you to see."

She takes my hand again, leading me back to the side of the island that always has the most beautiful sunsets. I pull my hand out of hers, not because I don't like her, but because I'm not used to so much skin contact. Kairi glances back as we move through the door separating the two sides. In the darkness I'm not able to discern her features, yet I can tell she's hurt. I sigh, the thought of returning to the Castle That Never Was suddenly sounds very appealing. Never did I think I would actually miss it. I haven't even been here for two days.

We pass the dock leading to the Paopu tree, enter the Shack, pass the small cascade, the tree houses, until we finally reach the other dock where Kairi points to three small boats.

"This is mine, this is Sora's and this is Riku's. We're planning on traveling to many worlds, but we've still got a lot to build. We decided to make a raft for all three of us, instead of using three separate boats. Traveling alone is no fun." Her eyes veer past me. "Let's go over there, now."

I turn, following her gaze to the Paopu tree. She must be trying to entertain me. Maybe to keep me from being bored. Does it show on my face that I've had enough?

As we arrive, I watch as she sits on the curved tree, her small back and short hair reminding me of Xion. She rotates her body, signaling me to join her.

I pace slowly to the tree, stopping in front of it, touching the bark with my bare hand, and realizing the difference between the way it felt past my glove and now. I never understood how smooth it was to the touch. I trace my hand along the creases with a smile on my face. Why does this seem so familiar?

"Isn't it a beautiful day?" Kairi sighs as she looks out to the sea, the light from the sun shining through her hair melting the red into violet.

I recall the way I thought about sitting on the tree a few days ago—what appears to have been years ago for Kairi—and not wanting to experience the anxious loneliness that eats away at the chest, leaving it more empty than it already was. More than anything, I want to spare myself that feeling. If I don't, I'm frightened that I'll be devoured inside.

I jump onto the tree, relaxing my tense muscles, attempting to enjoy the view like the little girl. "Yeah." I take a deep breath of salty air, filling my lungs.

"Where's Riku?" She asks no one in particular.

"Here." Riku confirms, spooking Kairi and I. He apparently just arrived on a small boat which he hooks onto a ladder I hadn't notice on the back of Paopu island.

"Riku! What're you doin'?" Kairi chuckles, in a much better mood than a few seconds past.

"Just some daily errands for my parents." He answers. Riku stands to my left, leaning against the tree while Kairi sits on my right. Gradually, like the time in the mornings when I least want to wake up but allow the grogginess to slip away, this setting feels pleasantly familiar. The thought of returning to the Castle erases from my mind. Why would I want to leave my home? I shake my head, correcting myself. This isn't my home. This isn't my place. I am extremely _out_ of place. I raise a hand to my head, which suddenly started to pound.

"It's funny." I grimace.

"What is?" Kairi asks.

"Even though we've just met, I feel like I can get along with you guys very well. Like I've been friends with you before." Even if that doesn't make any sense, does it sound odd to admit it if it's the truth?

Kairi hides her eyes beneath her bangs.

Riku looks up at me, "That's weird. Why do you think that?"

I realize the discrepancy in my statement. I can't feel anything, therefore what's happening to me must not be emotions, rather I am remembering something from my past.

"Maybe I've sat on this tree before. I don't know, Riku. I can think many things, but I'll never know if they're right or wrong. I've probably never met you guys before but maybe I've been here and sat on this very tree, looking out at this very ocean."

It disheartens me knowing that I'll never know what happened in my past. If I can even call it mine.

"Déjà vu." Kairi mutters.

"What's that?" I inquire. I can tell Riku doesn't know either.

"It's when you've done something , said something, been to a certain place and feel like you've done the exact same thing before." She explicates, "It sounds like you've had a déjà vu experience."

I smile, grateful that Kairi was contemplating what I said and able to come up with a theoretical explanation. "Yeah, that about sums it up. Have you had any of those, Kairi?"

She stares me straight into the eyes. I want to look away, apprehensive that she might see into the empty cave behind my blue irises.

"Yeah, I've had some." She answers, unaware of my hidden turmoil.

Riku frowns at us, "_Ahem_. If anyone cares, I've had some myself, too. In fact, they've happened when I'm near _you_, Roxas."

I point at myself warily, "Me? Do I remind you of—" My eyes veer off to Kairi who's staring at the sand, "—someone?" I finish quietly.

I recall yesterday when Kairi wanted me to be Sora. What is it that we have so much in common? I saw him for myself and we didn't resemble each other, other than in appearance. How could she confuse us?

"It's the way you talk," Riku continues, "the way you move. Your face. It reminds me of…a friend of mine."

Kairi shakes her head, "Don't say that, Riku. Sora is Sora and Roxas is Roxas. They just happen to look like each other. It doesn't mean anything." Her voice takes on a forlorn tone.

"When's…Sora coming back?" I dare to ask. Sora's suddenly become a topic of dread.

Riku speaks in place of Kairi as she sighs, "He hasn't come back for a few months. We're really worried. We ask ourselves, 'what could he possibly be doing?' or 'why's he taking so stinkin' long?' It's just…hard to wait, I guess. I know both me and Kairi feel the same about that—don't you, Kairi?" Riku leans forward to see the young girl's face as she jumps from the tree, walking into his arms. She stifles a cry. His grip on her tightens, shielding her from me.

Why do they act as if they'll never see him again or as if something horrible happened? Why are they being so…emotional?

Then, I understand. Emotions come with having a heart. Something I might never have. This is why I don't understand their pain. In all likelihood, I'll never be able to. They have hearts, while I don't. There will be many things in this universe that I will only be able to contemplate but never experience or even come close to understanding their true meanings. I suppose I'll just have to live with that knowledge.

Sora must have been missing for a long time for them to worry about his safety. Hasn't he been on the other islands? In the distance, I can make out many more, at least two or three. Why are they so distressed? He's not destroyed, is he?

A terrible thought strikes me. Could the Heartless have invaded the other islands? I shouldn't rush to conclusions. It's most likely in Kairi's and Riku's best interest not to know about the Heartless or the reason for why I may be here.

I jump off the tree, unable to bask in the once peaceful aura anymore. "You guys, I think I'm going to go…elsewhere."

Where else can I go from here? I've seen nearly all there is to see. I suppose I'll explore the island without the reserves of recon. Perhaps, I'll find a way to go to the other islands.

"But where are you going?" Kairi steps out of Riku's embrace.

"Around." I mutter uninvitingly.

"Can—can I come?" she questions unexpectedly.

Although I'm surprised, I don't want her to notice. How can I deny her nicely?

"I wanted to explore by myself." Why does she want to go with me? Won't it bring her pain?

She nods hesitantly, resigning, "Ok…come back soon!"

I acquiesce. It's not like I have anywhere else to go until I figure out what I was sent here to do and how I can return to the Castle. As I walk away, I feel cold stares on my back. I place my index finger and thumb on the bridge of my nose, closing my eyes in an attempt to escape the attention. Why am I here? Why haven't I gone back? I want to see Xion. I want to find Axel. I have more things to do over there. Here I'm just stuck and I can't do anything. It's almost asphyxiating how quant and quiet this world is. No wonder Kairi and her friends want to leave it. Maybe that's what Sora did. What if he got so tired of it and just left? Somehow, that doesn't sound like something he'd do. I sneak a peek behind me to check if they are still looking at me.

I turn back swiftly, having linked eyes with them. I approach the Shack and run in, locking myself within its pleasant darkness, away from their prying eyes. I slide down to the sand, pondering what I should do. Should I go with the other group? Exploring's the same on either side of the island: monotonous. Perchance things won't be as awkward with them. I nod to myself and step out of the Shack in the hopes of getting to know new people. I leave through the other exit, hiding so Kairi and Riku can't see me. I safely reach the other door leading to the posterior side of the island and walk through.

* * *

**SL:**

Poor Roxas! I feel claustrophobic for him! I've never lived on an island, but I can imagine that it must be kind of nice. For him, however, his situation is a little bit different since the only people inhabiting the island are children and one, if not all of them, look at him like he's some sort of clone of Sora (which he kind of is.. but not really) So where is this going? Where is all this monotony leading to? Oddly enough, it's about what's happening on both sides _together_ that makes the story make more sense. I promise the next chapter will have a little more action than these with-if not-more mystery and ambiguity that all Kingdom Hearts fans are used to!

Until next time!


	5. Mission of Discovery

**A/N:**  
Here it is, chapter four! Without meaning to, every chapter just gets longer and longer, huh? Well, that's changing for the next chapter! Keeps things interesting. Vacation's going swell and ironically, it's harder to find time to write now than when I was in school.

Anyways, enjoy!

_**SL**_

* * *

**Chapter 4: **

**Mission of Discovery**

Xion

I create a dark portal, taking a step inside as a shadow moves to my right. Without hesitation, I summon my Keyblade, hunching into my fighting stance, searching for the threat. I minimize the portal into nonexistence, leaving nothing but silence to occupy the empty space of the Entrance Hall of the Beast's Castle.

"Who's there?" I ask.

I slip my hood on in order to maintain my anonymity. As I drop my hand to the side, I hear a crack in the rocks behind me. I turn swiftly, lifting my Keyblade to block an incoming attack, staring at a hooded figure in the Organization coat.

"Who are you?" I demand.

The hooded figure says nothing and pushes me down to the ground with great force. This is clearly a male. My Keyblade and his sword parry at a standstill with my arms struggling to keep his sword off my body.

"Who are _you_?" He strains, "What're you doing with the Organization?"

I grapple against his weight, "Get away from me!" I unleash a powerful light attack, blinding each other as the light engulfs us. In that instant, I get a glimpse of his body moving towards me. I hunch low to the ground and deliver a blow to his stomach. He recoils with a grunt, jumping backwards, landing in front of me at a distance. We stand, breathing agitatedly, staring at each other, waiting for one of us to make the first move. In the moment's respite, I ponder if I should fight him. So far I've already revealed one of my techniques while I haven't learned anything from him. The only similarities between us stop at the coat and the blade in his hand.

"Why do you have a Keyblade?" He shouts.

We walk cautiously around each other in a circular motion, intently waiting for one or the other to initiate the attack.

"What's it got to do with you?" I retort, "Who _are_ you?"

He sprints towards me with his blade held high. I sweep my Keyblade up to block him, establishing my stance firmly on the ground to maintain my equilibrium against the oncoming force. What I _have_ learned from him is that his initial attack is always his strongest one, the one he packs the most strength into. Our blades clash loudly, but I'm glad I was ready for it this time. Standing and struggling to hold each other off, we clasp our blades together, equally not surrendering to the other.

"Why are you wearing the Organization coat? Why are you fighting me? Who are you! Answer me!" I growl.

"So, you're a Nobody." He states, not a hint of exertion in his voice. This disconcerts me. Where did he suddenly gain the stamina? He must've used a Potion after I hit him.

"Yes." I groan, exasperated.

"Hmm…that explains it."

"Explains what?"

He unleashes a darkness attack, catching me off guard, sending me flying through the air until I make contact with the stone floor. I land on my back, my blade falling out of my hands.

"The Keyblade." He whispers to himself.

He approaches me. I summon the Keyblade, pointing it at him to back off, ignoring the pain.

"Though this explains many things, it still poses more questions."

With that said, he turns and walks away. "Our encounter here will be forgotten. I've found what I wanted to know."

I stand up with difficulty and anger, feeling ridiculed and weak. Who _is_ this guy? I ponder if I should use a Potion or Cure, but assess that there will not be enough time for it. Staring at his back, I prepare my Keyblade for another light attack, only to watch him disappear before my eyes.

I am lost in the amount of time that passes between his disappearance and his attack on my neck that causes me to suddenly succumb to darkness.

* * *

I wake up with a jolt, realizing that was a mistake as I rub the sore spot on my neck.

Feeling disoriented and dizzy from the sudden movement, I process my surroundings with difficulty as my vision attempts to clear. My eyes widen as I realize I'm in my room. I stand up slowly and walk out to the corridor, a million questions surging through my head.

How'd I get here? Who was I fighting? What did he want? How does he know about the Keyblade? Why was he wearing our coat?

Then I understand: he's infiltrating the Organization. Could he be in this very building right now? I realize that this information is crucial to tell Saïx and the others. We could all be in danger.

Before I tell them anything, I need answers of my own. I rush to the Grey Area confronting Saïx, ignoring Xigbar's presence.

"What happened to me?"

Saïx shrugs, acting differently with me than with anyone else. It's as if anything I say is of no importance.

"I don't know. You tell me. Getting weak, I'm afraid?"

I shake my head fervently, "I'm _not_ getting weak! There was this guy—"

He lifts his hand to silence me, "Don't answer me with your antics and excuses. Your adversary beat you and could have destroyed you, but didn't. You are on no valid grounds to say that you're not weak because clearly, you are."

I glare at the floor, trying to find something to counter him with, but to my disillusionment, there is nothing. I clench my fists tightly against my sides. "How was I brought here?"

"How else?" Saïx scoffs, as if the question itself is redundant, "Through a portal. We wondered where you were and I sent Xigbar to check on you."

Xigbar, who's been sitting on one of the white couches adds, "No worries, puppet. I didn't wake you up from your snooze."

I frown at nothing. "So, I was unconscious and found by you—"

"As we've clearly made it known, yes." Saïx interjects condescendingly.

I turn and walk away. They're not even going to ask me _why_ I was knocked out? They're just going to assume that I'm weak? I furrow my eyebrows in anger.

Then I won't tell them about the hooded figure. He can infiltrate the Organization all he wants. I know he won't destroy me because I'm still alive. I must serve as something of importance—I smirk—because I wield the Keyblade.

I stop in the middle of a long white corridor, frozen to the spot.

The indifference the Organization members express towards anything that happens to me makes my stomach knot up painfully to the point where I have to find an escape and leave them behind. This has been going on ever since I was created, and yet I only just noticed how much it hurts me. I also realize this is the first time I'm keeping a secret from the Organization. Even though I want retribution, I fretfully hope that I won't see the consequences of my decision.

I walk into my room and close the door quietly. An image of the hooded figure comes to mind. Could that have been Axel? I reject the idea. That couldn't have been him. He wouldn't have attacked me. That other guy didn't know I was a Nobody. Would he know where Axel is? Is he someone that Axel confronted? Could he have taken Axel's coat to infiltrate us? Is Axel really—

I shake the thought. Why didn't the infiltrator destroy me? He showed interest in the Keyblade and why I wielded it.

I hold my head in my hands out of frustration. What should I do? I don't have a lead to where Axel could be and the only one that seems possible is one that I don't want to accept. Going to Castle Oblivion is too risky. I don't know how to get there either. I'd have to ask someone to take me, which defeats the whole purpose of my search. Where should I go?

Roxas…what should I do?

* * *

Without a second thought, I leave for the island.

I walk to the small dock and sit, letting my feet dangle on the edge, reminding me of the sensation I felt when I was back at Twilight Tower eating sea-salt ice cream. But here, it's as if the taste is all around me, wrapping me up in a cocoon of comfort. The pleasant heat of the sun blankets me from my immediate worries, telling me that everything will be all right and that I'll find the answers to all my questions. Sadly, I know that some of those answers will not be what I want to hear. Still, I allow myself to bask in the illusion.

I wait for a moment, before addressing my worries.

If Axel were alive, then he would come back to the Organization, right? If he were destroyed…there wouldn't even be a body to find.

Should I continue the search?

An image of Roxas smiling comes to mind. I shake my head in defeat. Roxas is counting on me. Axel is his first friend and while Roxas can't search for him, I will.

Maybe Axel was captured. Maybe he's not destroyed. As long as there's no proof that he's been destroyed or turned into a Dusk, then I'll keep searching.

For the moment's contemplation, I stare at my reflection in the ocean water, watching my face contort due to the movement of the waves. I touch my black hair, moving it behind my ear, waiting as if for something to push me off the edge. Small water droplets swell from my eyes, making ripples that collide with the waves as they fall into the water. My image blurs until I can't see my face anymore, just like it was in the beginning—nothing but a pale, expressionless mask. I jump off the dock, immersing myself into the sea and look for a pretty shell to give Roxas. I feel around in the sand with my eyes closed until my hand clasps onto something. I break to the surface, taking a few breaths, shaking the water from my eyes. I admire the shell, nodding that this is what I want.

Something hits the ground to my right.

I jump high into the air, creating a sphere of wind around myself as a shield, drying myself in the process, while summoning my Keyblade. I land on the shore, rustling the sand around me, creating a shockwave—my first line of defense—ready for battle. My eyes search for any potential threat, waiting for the slightest movement. I notice a coconut rolling out onto the shore. Still cautious, I walk over to the tree that makes up the entire island, next to the cascade. I search for someone that could have made that happen, yet there is no one on this island but me. My Keyblade vanishes with the lack of a threat. I sigh at my paranoia. After my fight with that guy, I've become more vigilant. I suppose that comes with benefits. At least I won't be attacked by surprise anymore.

I summon a dark portal, ready to search another world when my peripherals catch another coconut fall to the ground and roll into the tree, disappearing. I frown in confusion.

The portal closes behind me as I air slide over there, expecting to hit something solid, yet nothing is in the way. What first appears to be a chasm in the tree is actually a cave. The tree managed to shield the stone opening with its great roots. I step forward carefully, tracing my hand against the wall. At the end of the passageway, I see a light. Following it, I reach the end of the cave and gasp as I take in the artwork etched onto the stone walls. From the beginning, I thought this island had never been uninhabited. I wonder what happened to all the people, or children, that drew this. I notice a castle, and a symbol that looks strangely familiar. I run my hand across the rock, touching a drawing depicting a boy and a girl. I frown, wondering why the boy's image looks so familiar. Is this Roxas? I shake off the thought. It can't be. This is a kid. Nobodies don't age. I crouch low to the ground to observe the drawings more closely, but as I gaze at these illustrations, my head begins to pound, an overwhelming sensation coming over me. I quickly stand up, holding my head, breathing in small gasps. I walk away from the image, my head clearing gradually. I sigh, pondering what just happened. A light emanating from my left captures my attention. It takes me a few seconds to realize that there's a door in here and only just now noticed it. I approach it slowly, marveling at its authenticity. The wood doesn't even match the stone around it. The door is as if untouched by age. Who could have put this here? An ominous vibration exudes from the mysterious door, calling me to it while repelling me simultaneously. I put my hand on the knob. I twist it carefully but feel resistance, indicating it's locked. I sigh out of relief. Why am I so nervous?

A sudden chill runs up and down my spine as I see the door shake. My Keyblade appears in my hand, uncontrollably wavering from side to side. I try stabilizing it with both hands as it lifts me off my feet. "Steady! Come on!"

Instantly, as if on my command, the Keyblade stops moving all together, but doesn't budge from its position in the air. A thin strip of light emanates from my Keyblade into the door's Keyhole. I hear a light click. The Keyblade disappears as quickly as it came. A debilitating sensation tightens in my chest, making it hard to breathe. I suddenly feel sick. I put my hand to my mouth. What's happening to me? I give names to the sensation. I'm worried, I'm anxious, but most of all, I'm scared. It seems as if I will see the consequences of my actions sooner than I thought. I take my Keyblade out immediately and attempt to lock the door. I will with all my might for that light to come out.

Nothing happens.

Whatever this door leads to, is now accessible for anyone who discovers it. I ruminate on what I should do. It's my fault this happened. I have to see that no one finds this place. It's hidden enough already. Finding it would be difficult, but blockading it would raise questions, wouldn't it? As far as I've seen, no one really knows this island exists. Should I just walk away? My Keyblade opened it but it can't close it. I re-summon my blade, attempting to lock it again to no avail. I place a shaking hand on my forehead, "Roxas, what should I do?"

I perk my head up. Roxas! When he wakes up, I can ask him if he can try locking the door. The pain in my chest disappears cautiously with the problem semi-solved. If I put this off, I'll feel better. Even if this is still unsolved, just knowing that something might be done is enough to ease some of the pain in my stomach. I make my way out of the cave when in the corner near the entrance/exit I notice another drawing. I walk closer to it, wondering why it's so small and isolated from the rest. As I peer at it, I realize it has an uncanny resemblance to me. This drawing's a little different from the other one, which looked similar to me, but younger. I place my hand on the stone and trace the lines. How did this get here? Could Roxas have been here before me? Is this the island he mentioned he saw in his dreams? If so, then it really _was_ a memory. I correct my thoughts. But this is reality and this drawing is of me. He couldn't have drawn this here. He hasn't been here in bodily form. He only dreamt of this place. I tilt my head to the side. Then how in the world did this get here? Finding more questions than answers, I bend down for a sharp stone and start drawing, knowing I won't receive any explanations. A line here, a line there. After I finish the drawing, I leave the rock on the ground and step out of the cave.

This is a small memory of our existence. If anything were to happen to us, this will remain here, etched in stone. Roxas, I hope you'll always remember me, just how I will never forget you. I may not have memories of my past but the few memories I have have been of you. Even if I don't ever remember who I was, as long as you're in my memories I am content, for you are my fondest memory.

That alone is enough for me.

* * *

Roxas

"Tidus, think fast!"

I spin in midair, hitting Tidus on the back with a wooden sword, causing him to fall flat on his stomach, getting sand in his mouth. He gets up weakly, spitting everything out.

"_Ow_! How'd you get there so fast?" he groans.

I smile triumphantly, but inwardly feel guilty for beating an eleven-year-old.

"Practice." I respond.

Selphie cheers loudly from the sidelines. "Whoo! Go Roxas!"

I walk over to Tidus, lending him a hand.

Tidus frowns as he stands up, "Shut up, Selphie!"

Selphie frowns, "Tidus, you're mean!"

Wakka laughs at their argument. He stands from his place next to Selphie and faces me, "My turn, Roxas. Let's see what you got, man."

He charges at me with his Blitzball in hand. I get into my fighting stance, fingers tingling, and smirk.

* * *

_20 minutes earlier_

As I walk through the passageway to the posterior side of the island, I see the group at a distance sparring against each other. I stand by, watching them closely, observing and memorizing their moves.

"Selphie! You should really get a better weapon. Your jump rope feels like a whip!" Tidus yells as Selphie swings her jump rope at him, making a loud cracking sound.

Selphie pouts, "That's why it's a weapon, duh! It has to hurt! How else am I supposed to win?"

Gravity-defying-haired Wakka throws an oddly shaped ball at the back of Tidus's head.

Tidus spins angrily, "Hey! Why are you both attacking me?"

They laugh in unison. I wonder how long it'll take for them to notice me standing here.

Tidus glances over my way, opens his mouth to say something, then gets hit in the face with Selphie's rope as she sees me, swinging her arms in the air.

He writhes in the sand. "My lips!"

Selphie shows concern and kneels down, holding him.

Wakka laughs, walking over to them. "_Aya_, man. You'll be okay. Stop complaining."

Selphie lightly touches Tidus's lips.

"Is it bleeding?" he asks, looking at her.

She nods, "Just a little. I don't want to wipe it away with my hands because they've got sand on them and it might hurt even more."

I walk closer to where the children are huddled, "Hey, how about you go wash it off on that small stream, coming out of the rock under the broken bridge? It seems to be fresh water."

Tidus stands up to do what I said, waving as he walks away. Selphie smiles, "Hey, Roxas!"

"Hiya, man." Wakka greets.

I return their salutations, staring out to the ocean. It looks different from this side, darker and more mysterious.

Wakka stands to my left as Selphie stands to my right.

"What do you want outta life?" he asks randomly.

I frown at him, confused, "What?"

Making odd gestures, he explains, "_Ya_, you know. See rare sights, broaden your horizons, get stronger…take your pick."

I wonder why he would ask something like that—perhaps to strike up a conversation? I shrug it off, contemplating the question. What more do I want out of life? I've already seen rare sights and broadened my horizons by going to new worlds, and I've been practicing to get stronger. I stare out in the distance, pondering what I should say and if anything _needs_ to be said. In the end, the only thing I want to know, the only question that begs answering is: understanding what having a heart really means and if I need one to begin with. Expanding the question further, what does being born a Nobody mean? I would like to understand my existence, my _being_ in the universe. What is my purpose? I look down, attempting to find a word or phrase to express those thoughts.

"I think I'd like to know my purpose." I respond, "_That's_ what I want out of life: answers."

Wakka frowns, "You want knowledge? How's life gonna give you that?"

I glance at him, furrowing my eyebrows. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything this philosophical to an eleven-year-old I just met. Selphie suddenly grabs my right arm, hugging it to her bony chest. I feel a sharp pain in my thorax, a barrage of images flash before my eyes: memories of when Xion tested Sora's redness with her theory, her face near mine, when she shot Darkside with ice, when she scaled his arm, when she first realized she could use the Keyblade, when we're sitting down on the Twilight Tower, eating ice cream together, when I glanced at her face without her knowing, taking in her delicate features, her shy smile, her hand slipping loose strands of hair behind her ear as she looked down, contemplating what Nobodies were.

"Selphie, get away from him. Stop flirting with everybody." Tidus scolds her as he comes to join us.

I return to the present, breathing a little faster than before. No one seems to notice.

I don't make any attempt to untangle myself from her grip, but I don't like the proximity. That is Xion's place, not hers.

"Roxas," She ignores Tidus and my discomfort, "What's most important to you?"

"What's that got to do with anything, Selphie?" Tidus remarks.

"Shh! I want to know!" she shouts. "What is it, Roxas?" she faces me, green eyes open with anticipation. "Could it be being number one, friendship, prized possessions, or…something else?"

Why does it feel like they're quizzing me? I think about the question anyway. It deserves contemplation. What is most important to me?

Instantly, I think of Xion and Axel. Of the options she gave me, I wouldn't choose any of them.

"Neither of those." I answer.

Selphie frowns, "Then, what is it?"

I hesitate, suddenly embarrassed. Why do I feel this way? _Can _I feel like this? If I shouldn't, then what is this pain in my chest when I think about Xion? It's not the same pain I feel when I think about Axel—thinking he's gone. That pain hurts me inside, ripping me apart. But for Xion, I feel empty, as if her absence takes with it all that makes me who I am. When we're together, the pain is dull, but it never goes away. With Axel, I never had pain until the news of his defeat. Does this mean that the more pain I feel for someone, the more they're necessary to me? If I cannot be with her, does that make her significant in my life?

I close my eyes and sigh, "There's someone that's very important to me."

Selphie's eyes glaze over, "Who?"

I shake my head, "You don't know her."

Then again, she might be able to see her image. Kairi looks like Xion except for the hair. But judging from the way Selphie appears right now, I don't know if telling her that is a good idea. It might lead to a misunderstanding and I wouldn't want to cause conflict between her and Kairi.

"_Oh_, and who _is_ this girl, hmm?" she insists.

Wakka elbows me on the side. Selphie lets go of my arm. Remembering Xion and being able to talk about her with someone brings a smile to my face. "She's one of my best friends."

Tidus nods. Wakka grins. Selphie pouts.

"Not fair!" she whines, "Why'd you have to meet her first?"

I frown at her reaction. Why is she acting like this?

"Do _you_ want to be my friend?" I ask.

Her eyes grow wide, "Yes! I'd love to be your friend!" She clings onto my arm again. I have a presentiment that I'll have to get used to her holding me if I'm still here tomorrow.

I think of tomorrow and the days after. _Will _I still be here? Will this all end? Will it _ever_ end?

Wakka shoves me in the direction of the shore. I fall face first into the water. I scramble out, trying to breathe. I sit in the waves in shock. That caught me completely by surprise. I shouldn't ever let my guard down.

"Wakka!" Tidus and Selphie yell. He holds them back as they try to get to me. I try blinking away the water trickling into my eyes, rubbing them with my wet fist. I grimace as the sand stings my vulnerable corneas. My bangs come over my ears and eyes.

"Wakka, what's your problem?" Selphie demands to know angrily.

Wakka picks me up from the front of my shirt, looking me straight in my red eyes, "What, man? So _we_ can't be your friends, too?"

I blink twice. Is he seriously asking me that?

He lets go of the front of the shirt, extending me a hand, "How about it, Roxas? Wanna be friends?"

I grin, recognizing his odd manner of expressing disappointment as unique, "Yeah." I take his hand and pull him into the water next to me. He laughs, splashing Selphie, Tidus, and I as they join in.

Now, not only Xion and Axel are my friends but Wakka, Tidus, Selphie, Kairi, and Riku are my friends. A warm sensation covers me like a blanket regardless of the cold, ocean water surrounding my body.

So, this is friendship.

* * *

_Present Time_

I deliver the final blow, hitting Wakka with his own attack, bouncing the ball back with my wooden sword. He crouches on the ground, holding his head in his hands. "I lost."

I drop my arm to my side, unclenching the sword so tightly.

"My turn." Selphie says, rubbing her hips next to mine as she passes by. She really doesn't know much about personal space and the disgust older people feel when she violates it.

"Don't go easy on me!" Selphie lets me know as she unfurls her jump rope.

I pace around her in a circle. Even if she says that, I'm still not going to hit her. Not only is she a girl, she's also eleven years old. I prepare myself for her attack.

Selphie comes charging at me, swinging her rope like a lasso. I let her hit me, cringing at the sting.

"H-hey, Roxas! Dodge!" she says with worry. She slashes at me again, but this time I move out of the way fast enough. The reason I let her hit me was so that I could see how swiftly she could use her weapon. Selphie charges at me again with a battle cry. I jump backwards, using glide to get even further away, while facing her.

"Roxas, stop running away! Take me seriously!" She yells. I hide a smile.

I glide back over to her before she runs all the way to where I was. Thinking she'd wait for me until I landed was wrong. Selphie whips her rope at me while I'm still in mid-air, wrapping it around my arm. Still gliding, I yank the rope, trying to get it out of her hands but her body comes with it. I unconsciously stop gliding as I catch her and fall to the sand, creating a dust cloud. As we slide on the sand, burning my arms in the process, I feel her weight on my stomach, remembering a similar situation with Xion. However, I prefer saving Xion from Heartless any day than this girl. It's a good thing that the sand isn't as slippery; nonetheless it only made my impact on it all the more painful and blinding. Once we stop, I lay my head back in relief.

"Selphie?" I ask wanting to make sure she's fine.

I lean my head upwards and see her sitting on my stomach. She has her left hand to her lips with a surprised expression while her other hand is on my chest. Her pupils retract as a smile comes to her face. She places both hands on my chest, leans in and pecks the tip of my nose with her lips. I flinch, pushing her off quickly, rubbing my nose, thoroughly disgusted. She chuckles at my reaction, "I win."

Wakka and Tidus run up to us as I am sitting up.

"You guys okay?" Tidus asks, furrowing his eyebrows in worry. I rub my nose and notice Selphie pouting angrily at me. I ignore her, looking the other way.

"Yeah, we're fine." I answer.

Wakka grins, "Good. Now we can see if you can fight the three of us."

I wipe a droplet of sweat off my cheek and smile, "Sure thing."

* * *

I charge at Selphie first. Tidus and Wakka make a good team. That's their biggest mistake. If they didn't leave Selphie behind, they'd have better defenses. Her whip has a medium range and deals a low amount of damage but with continuous hits, the damage rises quickly. While Tidus slashes at me with his wooden sword, Wakka smacks me with the Blitzball. Selphie unleashes a powerful whip attack on my chest, stinging me to the core. Wakka throws the ball again. I deflect it, knocking it back to him, throwing him down on the ground. In that moment, Selphie attacks me again, but this time, I wrap the rope around my arm, yank it towards myself and catch Selphie, who doesn't let go of the rope like last time. I notice a slight redness to her complexion and assume it's because of the heat—although the sun is already close to setting.

"Sorry, Selphie." I apologize, "But it's game over for you."

Selphie crosses her arms and pouts as she walks to the sidelines, "_Hmph_."

As soon as I have my attention back to the fight, Tidus attacks me with his sword, aiming for my face. I react quickly, shielding myself. Our swords clash. We struggle against each other's weight; pushing against the swords. But his eleven-year-old strength is no match for mine. I sense Wakka's Blitzball heading for my head again. I push Tidus off with a grunt, sending him flying to the sand. I switch my wooden sword to my left and smack the ball harder than Wakka had sent it. I accidently smack him right in the face. His body lands on the sand with a cloud. I see Tidus getting up in the distance and decide to check on Wakka.

"Are you okay?" I poke him with my sword. "Wakka?"

Selphie stands up, sighing. "He's out. I'll take him to his house. You guys have fun." Selphie walks over to Wakka and places one of his arms over her shoulder. She turns to me and blows a kiss, winking. "See ya, Roxas."

I close my eyes, breathing deeply, condoning her flirtatious behavior. As long as she keeps at a distance, I don't want to call attention to it.

My sight focuses on Tidus again. He bends down to pick up his sword. I get in my stance. Tidus charges at me with a battle cry, similar to Selphie. Our swords clash, my strength overpowering his. He falls on one knee while I push against his sword, using little effort. I hit his hand, sending his sword flying again. He sighs and stands up to get it, "Why are you so good?"

I raise my eyebrows, "At what? Fighting?"

He picks the sword up, "Yeah. You're really strong. I can't last much fighting you. You knocked out Wakka with one hit! Now I know you were _really_ reserving your strength when you were fighting Selphie."

I scratch the back of my head. I can't tell him that I have to fight well so that I don't become Heartless bait on my missions.

"Practice makes perfect, I guess." As well as threats to your life. There's nothing to do but learn in those situations.

"Oh. So you mean that if I keep practicing I'll get as good as you?" he asks hopefully.

I feel a slight heat wave at the praise. "Sure, I think so."

He grins, punching the air, "Yeah! I'll start practicing right now. Wait—" he interrupts himself, "—Can you teach me?"

"H-huh?" I stutter, taken by surprise.

"Yeah! Can you teach me?"

I look around, scratching my head, "I don't know how to teach."

He approaches me, "It doesn't matter! Show me what you learned first. I'll be a good student, I swear! I want to be as good as you."

I can't help but feel warm inside at his admiration. I've never had anybody want to fight like me, to want me to teach him or her—to _need_ me.

"Alright." I nod, "I'll teach you.

His eyes widen and his mouth transitions to a huge grin. "Really? Alright! Thanks! Can we start now?"

I hesitate, "Now?"

He nods vigorously.

I shrug, "I guess." I look over to the horizon, "We'll stop when the sun sets completely, okay?"

He nods, "Yes, sir!"

"Alright, the first thing you need to know is how to hold a sword."

Sir? I think I'm going to like being a teacher.

* * *

"Go to the right."

Tidus swings it to the right without losing form.

"Now left."

He swings it to the left correctly, but slowly.

"Good. No need to rush. This is your first day, after all. It took me a while to get it right." I grow solemn as I remember how I used to be before. I couldn't even stand on my feet, much less hold a sword—a Keyblade in my case. Axel was my caretaker and for that I'm forever grateful. He taught me everything I know and became my friend. I wonder where he is…

"Roxas?" Tidus's voice interrupts my thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"What are you most afraid of?"

I stare at him, curiously, "Why do you ask?"

Tidus shrugs, "I want to know what you'll say. Wakka said he was afraid of being different. But he kind already is. Selphie said she's scared of getting old—" he clicks his tongue "—Figures. And I'm most afraid of being indecisive."

I find the information seems accurate for them. It matches their personalities.

"Well, there are many things I'm indecisive about." He goes on, "Being indecisive makes me feel like I'm not true to myself, to who I am. And I try to _know_ what I want. I want to be genuine, not have some warped identity crisis."

I raise my eyebrows at his last statement. "Hmm." I mumble.

"So," he continues, "What are you most afraid of?"

I don't answer for a while, contemplating my fears. After a few seconds of silence, I find that I can't come up with anything substantial. Isn't fear an emotion?

"I'm sorry. I don't really know."

"What do you mean? You're not scared of anything? That's impossible. Everyone's scared of something."

I rub my face with my hand, stopping at the bridge of my nose.

I don't have a heart; therefore I don't know what fear is. I don't have the means to know such an emotion. I ponder if I should ask him to explain what fear is. Will he think it odd if I ask him something that should be so obvious?

"Tidus, I don't understand the question. What do you mean by 'fear?'"

As I thought, Tidus finds it odd that I don't know, but proceeds to explain anyway.

"When you fear something, it means you don't want _it_—whatever _it_ is—to happen to you. Or you don't want _it_ to get near you."

I cock my head to the side in confusion.

"Okay," Tidus shakes his head and hands back and forth, "Let me start over. Here's an example. When you're scared of a _thing_—it's like a little kid scared of a monster in his closet or a little girl scared of the boogeyman under her bed. Are you getting it?"

I shake my head.

"Alright," he sighs, "Next example. The past two were examples of being scared of a _thing_, of a person that would hurt you. That's another thing to mention. People fear what puts their lives in danger. Which leads to my other example: people are afraid of dying."

This catches my attention, "Is dying the same thing as being destroyed?"

Tidus frowns, "That's a weird word for it, but yeah, it's basically the same thing."

I nod, understanding.

"Fear can also be for someone else. Like you're scared for someone. Let's say a sibling, or a parent, or a girlfriend or something. You naturally fear for _your_ life, but for that person's as well. More so for that other person in this case."

"Really? How does that work?" I question, remembering how similar that emotion was to when I saved Xion and Selphie. Is worrying an emotion too? Is there a close tie between the two? Can I possibly _develop _emotions?

Tidus frowns, "What do you mean, 'how does that work?' You just know! You're telling me you still don't get it?"

"Some of it."

He sighs in exasperation, "Okay, if you don't get this last example then there's no hope for you. We've already talked about fearing a person, fearing for your life—which is the most common one—but now we need to talk about fearing an idea. You can be scared of losing yourself."

I completely don't understand, "What?"

"You can be scared of losing who you are. Your identity or losing someone."

My eyes glaze over as Axel comes to mind.

"Let's say you lost all of your family. You lost everything. Your house, any relatives. Everything. You'll be all alone. Being alone can make you go crazy or depressed. I think that you lose who you are when you lose everyone else. People weren't meant to be alone. We need to talk to someone, to have friends. The idea of losing that friend and being alone is scary."

Axel and Xion's faces flash before my eyes. I can finally make sense of it all. I would hate it if they were destroyed for good. Just like how everyone thinks Axel's destroyed. I feel a sharp pain in my chest. Is this fear?

"What if," I pause, "Something happened to your friend? What would you feel then?"

Tidus looks at me sympathetically, "Then I suppose you would feel sad."

My gaze veers to the ground. Is that what this is—sadness? Can I really feel sad, even without a heart? I close my eyes, clearing my head of that thought.

"Another thing," Tidus tries to lighten the atmosphere, "When you fear, it's usually something you don't understand. It's in our nature to fear what we don't comprehend."

A multitude of questions come to mind. I don't understand myself, my existence. Does that mean that I fear living or the answer I might find? He said that the unknown is a cause of fear, but what if the answer to the unknown can cause fear, as well? What if I find that there's no meaning to my existence? What if I mean nothing?

"I think I understand now." I mutter somberly.

Tidus exhales with a smile, "Good. So what're you most afraid of?"

I pause, staring out into night sky filled with stars—insignificant specks when alone, but magnificent when shining together in the black infinitesimal empyrean.

"I'm scared of not having or finding my purpose, of not meaning to exist, of being a mistake." I look at him, trying to see his expression in the moonlight. "I'm scared of finding out that everything's a lie. I fear the emptiness I feel inside my chest as it waits to swallow me into the darkest abyss where there's no escape. I fear not having an identity. I fear being a Nobody."

Because in being a Nobody, there's no reason for me to live. I am an error in the universe, someone without a place in it, born from a miscalculation. I don't want to be a Nobody. I want to be something greater than that. Where do I belong? Why don't I have a heart? Why does my existence have to feel so _wrong_?

My breathing grows labored. I gaze out into the ocean trying to calm myself down, an overwhelming sensation threatening to make me explode with anger or grief or whatever this sense inside me is called.

"The thing I fear most out of all is the fact that I already know the answers." I whisper.

A dead silence envelops the cool, misty air. The waves and the rustling of the trees are the only things capable of breaking the wall of quietude.

Tidus gawks at me, speechless.

"That's—that's…" he stutters. "Odd…" He swings his hands back and forth suddenly." No, I don't mean weird. It's odd because," he stares into nothingness, "because I sometimes feel the same way."

I watch him for a moment, paralyzed by his words. Then, I grab him by the shoulders, "Really? I'm not the only one?"

Can it be that I'm not a lone star in the sky?

Stunned at my outburst, Tidus just nods. Ashamed, I pat him on the head and say he should get some sleep.

"I'll tell you the rest tomorrow!" he shouts as he walks away. I smile, walking to the frontal side of the island.

As I arrive to the other side, I notice Kairi sitting on the Paopu tree. I ponder if I should sneak past her. I know that she'll want to talk to me and I simply want to be alone right now. I go past the Shack and turn to my right, remembering the cave from last time. That seems a good place as any to sleep in. I pass behind the cascade stealthily, something a Nobody in the Organization must know how to do, and enter the cave. It's even darker at night than in the day. I trace the wall with my hand, keeping track of where I step so as not to make too much noise. I enter the cave, my eyes adjusting to the dim light coming from the odd door. As a side quest, I search for any new pictures the kids might have drawn in the years of my absence. There are a few, but none too distinguishable to mention. Finally, I stare at the door. Last time I hadn't been able to move at all. This time, things are going to change. I place my hand on the wood, feeling the brand new materials, the intricate designs. My hand drifts to the doorknob as questions plague my interior. Where does this lead? Why is it hidden? But most of all, what happens if I open it? My hand trembles on the knob. I twist it.

It's locked.

I slouch, disappointed that I wasn't able to see what mysteries lie behind the door. I turn to look for a place to sit down and rest. All of a sudden, my Keyblade appears in front of me, pulling me back to the door, wavering back and forth. I struggle against its strength, confused as to what is causing this. A small light exits the blade, entering the door's keyhole. I use all the strength in my arms to move the Keyblade but it stays fixed in one position, emanating a bright, condensed light.

I hear a soft click.

The light disappears back inside the Keyblade, the blade losing the force keeping it afloat, and falls to the ground. I stare at it, dumbfounded. A chill goes up and down my spine.

What have I done?

I feel like something's gripping at my chest, as if my legs can't move on their own.

The door bulges outward, light seeping from the cracks. I somehow manage to move my legs again, quickly summoning my Keyblade and pointing it at the door, willing it to close and ready to attack if it should open. The door concaves and the light shining from the cracks ceases. All returns to normal. I take quick agitated breaths, wondering if it's over.

The feeling gripping my chest hasn't gone away. I finally understand.

This is fear.

I back away from the door. Somehow, I managed to stop it from opening, but I don't know what to do anymore. I can't close it, assuming I unlocked it, because my Keyblade's acting abnormally.

"Roxas?"

I turn swiftly to the source of the voice.

"K-Kairi?" I make the Keyblade disappear, hoping she didn't notice it.

She looks confused, "What're you doing here? How'd you find this place?"

I can't even focus on what to say. I really don't need this right now.

"I explored, remember? I found it then." How long has she been standing there?

She nods, "Oh, that makes sense. What was that light, by the way?"

I stiffen, "What light?"

She points to my hand, "When I came in, a light came out of your hand."

I shake my head, "It wasn't me. The light came from the door."

She gives me a skeptical look, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. See for yourself."

She walks over to me, grabs my hand and traces the lines on my palm. She flips it over, then back, trying to decide if I'm lying or not.

"I guess you're right." She finally says. I assume she's going to give me my hand back, but her small hands remain around mine. Kairi runs them over mine with a tender smile. The heat in my body rises to my face. Xion and Kairi are the only girls that affect me this way. I slip my hand away from her and turn away, trying to cool down and understand myself.

"Sorry." She mutters.

"It's fine."

Assured that I'm not burning up anymore, I face her, "So how about we get out of here?"

She points at the cave. "Don't you want to know the history behind this? How these pictures got here?"

I sigh inwardly, "Sure."

I listen to her as she explains what Sora drew, what she drew, when she drew it, and how long it took them to have this many pictures. I nod my head so she sees she still has my attention. When she finishes looking at the whole cave, I insinuate I want to get out already.

"Hey, Kairi. I think I'm going to sleep outside."

"No!" She startles me, "You can stay with me and Riku again."

I shake my head, opening my mouth to protest when I notice Kairi looking past me.

"Kairi?"

She walks past to the stone wall behind me. I turn to look at what she's gazing at, widening my eyes when she kneels down and touches the picture I drew of Xion.

"Who is this?" She ponders.

"Uh…it's one of my friends."

"Hmm…" she traces over the picture. I look away in embarrassment.

"She kinda looks like me."

I chuckle outwardly, the laugh coming off a little stronger than I wanted, "If anything, you look like her since she's older than you."

"What's her name?"

I hesitate. Does it matter if I share this information with her? Would it be fine to just _mention_ her?

"Xion." I whisper. I hope I don't hinder her in any way because of this.

"Why'd you draw her?"

I puzzle over why Kairi is asking me all these questions.

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because I wanted to—can we go? Or if you want to stay here, I'll go."

I head toward the exit, hearing her steps behind me. What happened to the cheerful Kairi? I get out of the dark tunnel, greeted by the cool, ocean breeze. I allow the salty air to envelope my lungs. The rustling of the trees draws my attention. I look over to the small island that Riku, Kairi, and I sat on this morning. I walk over to it, climb on the Paopu tree, grab a fruit, and bit a chunk out of it. I cringe at its sour and sweet taste, the initial burst of flavor waking up my taste buds. I lie down on the large tree, staring out into the horizon.

Why am I _here_? I'm getting tired of asking this question. How'd I _get_ here? When will I be able to go back? I take another bite of the fruit; it's sweet, tangy juices escaping the creases of my mouth. I lick it off before it goes to my chin. I drop the fruit on the ground and place my hand behind my head, staring off into the heavens. Not too long ago, I really liked this place. It's peculiar how quickly I tired of it and its people. If I could leave, would I go back to the Organization? I sigh, chuckling at my own pitifulness. Where'd I _think_ I could go? If not here, then the Organization. It's all I've ever known. I've never made a decision for myself. All I've done, all I've tried to do, is follow orders.

* * *

Xion

I walk into Roxas's room quietly, knowing that he won't hear me come in even if I make noise. I kneel on the ground and prop my arms on the side of the bed, leaning my head on them while staring at him. I stick my hand in my pocket, taking out another shell. I put it on the side of the bed with the other ones.

"Why does it feel like you've been sleeping forever?"

I close my eyes and recount my day. "I met a weird guy today and I still haven't been able to find Axel. I've got no idea where he is. I don't know why but I get the feeling that the guy might know where Axel is. He said some things that made no sense. He knew what Keyblade was and he wore an Organization coat. Somehow, I think we might meet again, too. Can't say I'm sacred, but it's close to that. In reality, I don't know what to think. I just wish I wasn't so alone here. I'm surrounded by Organization members but I couldn't be lonelier. I wish you would wake up soon, Roxas. I wish Axel would come back or appear if he has to. I just want you guys here."

I groan, digging my head in my arm, placing a hand on Roxas's cheek, "Wake up already."

I close my eyes and let sleep engulf me.

* * *

**A/N:**

That's it for chapter four. So, where exactly _is_ Roxas and how's he going to get out of there? What's happening with Kairi? When will Roxas wake up? What did he and Xion do to that door? Are the Heartless going to invade now? Will they have to pay for their actions? Things are veering from the game now, (more so than before). Riku knocks Xion out, but doesn't tell her to leave the Organization. Instead, he states that he's found out what he wanted. What does he mean?

All these questions will be answered in due time!

**_SL_**


	6. Mission of Chasers

**A/N:**

Hello all!

Here's the next installment to Infallibility! I'm glad I was able to get this out earlier than the other ones. I'll attribute it to how short this one was. But boy, did it involve more thinking and plotting for reasons you will all find out!

As promised, I will mention the people that reviewed the past chapters. Thanks for your kinds words of encouragement Sentinel07, TheSapphireRose, and Zigbon. This chapter is dedicated to you three.

Hope you, the reader, enjoys it!

**_SL_**

* * *

Chapter 5: Mission of Chasers

**A sealed tale of truth**

_Master of the Keyblade…the lost two…Chasers…Memory of Xehanort…Keyblade War…_

_Erase me…_

Roxas

Words flash through my mind forming images of people and places I've never seen. My body feels heavy and hot. The sound of metal clashing against solid ground reverberates through my ears. I try moving my arms, but find I can't. I try moving my legs, but get the same horrifying result. I begin to panic inwardly. Then I realize I _am_ moving. My limbs are mobile, yet I have no control over them. I open my eyes and see a dark world surrounding me. I can see the sun in the distance, but a helmet on my head with a visor darkens it, changing the color. The weight all over my body is armor. Through the shaded visor, I see another armored person walking next to me. From the curvature of the body, the wearer appears to be female. A tall, armored man waits at the end of a crossroads, supporting a massive sword on his shoulders, standing in front of three Keyblades. My head moves slightly, allowing me to get a glimpse of the world around me.

I take in the colossal amount of old, rusted Keyblades stuck into the ground in what appears to be a deserted area, forming an X or a cross depending on the direction. Only the path that I walk on is deprived of the Keys. The woman and I grab our respective Keyblades and stare off into the distance. I scrunch my eyes, noticing a figure in the dust that was lifted into the air by the wind. As he comes closer, I notice his hunched body, unhindered by the sand blowing all around him, moving with an ease any older man is not prone to having. Something was threatening about him. I've never seen him before, yet somehow I knew he was a menace, a being so evil that he must be destroyed.

I gasp, startled by my own thoughts.

I focus on the old man again. His body suddenly becomes translucent and splits into two, making another person in an organic suit resembling the muscular anatomy of the human body; a mask with a dark visor shielded his face. Although, I want to feel surprised or horrified, I do not. This person is someone I know. He's hurt my friends. He's hurt me. He's even worse than the old man. This person standing at a distance in front of me had to die. A fury that cannot be contained flows through me, fueling my resentment and hatred for the figures up ahead. In a split second, I realize these emotions are not resonant from within me. This can only be credited to another source.

"Behold." The old man's voice rumbles in the distance, as he sweeps his hand towards the broken swords surrounding us. "These lifeless keys used to be full of power—united with the hearts of their masters. On this barren soil, Keyblades of light and darkness were locked in combat as a great Keyblade war raged. Countless Keyblade wielders gave up their lives, all in search of one ultimate key, the x-blade, forged only from the purest of hearts." He centers his sights on me.

Once again, with no control over my movements, I step forward, ready to charge at the two threats. A hand on my shoulder pushes me back roughly. I turn to look at my male comrade in confusion. He charges at the old man at an incredible speed, but as he jumps to strike, the old man merely lifts his arm and the ground comes with it. My comrade inevitably hits it without any form of defense, landing on the newly formed plateau. The old man, M. Xehanort, raises the ground where he and his apprentice, Vanitas, are standing, looking down mockingly at my comrade, Terra.

If I could move my body, I'd be holding my head to subside the pounding in my skull. How do I know all these names?

_Terra! Always trying things by yourself! Let us help you once in a while!_

I listen to the voice inside my head, similar to mine, if not identical, but I am not speaking. This voice—these thoughts are not mine. They belong to someone else.

Vanitas jumps off the cliff with electricity coming out of his hand. He strikes Terra without remorse as Terra lies on the ground defenselessly. The person within me can no longer hold back. My anger compels my body forward as well as my female comrade, Aqua.

We rush past the new cliffs rising all around us, sending sand and dirt in our faces as we try to reach M. Xehanort. The visors protect us from breathing the dust in, or letting it get into our eyes. The armor shields our entire bodies from the debris. As I try to understand what's going on, I realize that this battle was premeditated. This conflict is not an occurrence of chance. I came here for the purpose of eliminating these people. I came here for murder.

Terra lags behind, watching M. Xehanort with contempt before following closely behind Aqua and I. M. Xehanort waves his hand in the air, facing the rusted Keyblades. They pull out of the earth with the sheer force of the wind, lifting into the air in a whirlwind. Terra chooses to fight M. Xehanort while Aqua and I find the Apprentice. I swoop on Vanitas with an aerial attack while Aqua unleashes Blizzaga. Peaceful days in the Organization while facing giant Heartless seem like child's play as I battle with one of the most hateful threats I've ever encountered. Vanitas blocks my attack with ease, but Aqua manages to hit him with her magic. I notice her look up at something and see the oncoming whirlwind of Keyblades falling toward us. We run faster than we'd already been running, exerting our bodies to their limits. As we evade our brush with death, Vanitas jumps on the rotating blades when they lower to the ground to pick him up. He proceeds to barrage us with multiple Blizzaga spells as he gains control of the vortex. We manage to outrun most of the attacks, especially Aqua who's ahead of me, trying to reach Terra. From my peripherals, I see Vanitas quickly jump off the Keyblades, alarming me, but I am too late in reacting. The blades slam into my body from under me, causing me to fall into the ground, rolling over the hard rock. The Apprentice takes advantage of my moment of weakness and casts a Blizzaga spell at me. In under a second, I gain control of my body, roll on my side, reverse the direction of the momentum and propel myself upwards, swinging my Keyblade at him twice. He retaliates both times and pushes me back. I react rapidly, positioning my hands to my right and build up energy for a Thundaga spell. I bring my arms forward, aiming at the menace in midair. The lightning extends to him as I pump more energy into the attack to reach him. He performs a backflip and whilst suspended, the Keyblade whirlwind comes from his left acting as a moving platform as he lands on it. He successfully—but barely—dodges my attack. The Keyblades light up, receiving the full blow of my magic instead. The electricity surges though them before dissipating.

_Hope that managed to hurt him somewhat._

The Apprentice takes the Keyblades over the cliff, where Terra's trying to climb up to reach M. Xehanort, and hits Terra from behind, causing my friend to lose his footing and fall off the edge. The Keyblades go through the top of the cliff, breaking the cliff to rubble. Down from another cliff, Aqua sees the falling Terra stabbing his Keyblade into the side of the cliff, but the crumbling rock can't hold him and breaks off with Terra still clinging onto it. Aqua keeps her eyes on Terra, but suddenly feels the cliff she's on drop slightly. While she looks down, the Keyblades come from above and dig her deep into the ground. She can't counter the weight and falls all the way to the bottom level, landing on her stomach, creating a crater around herself. A sharp pain in my chest propels me to her faster than all my other movements. I recognize these emotions as worry, horror, and fear. Terra's taken by the Keyblades, ironically saving his life, but they keep buffeting him, not letting him escape their deadly embrace.

I reach her, focusing my attention on her wellbeing. Her helmet had broken off, exposing her light blue hair and face. She struggles to get back up, breathing raggedly, using her Keyblade as support, stabbing it into the ground, giving herself enough leverage to balance on her left arm and kneel, unleashing a spell. I look up and see she's aiming for Terra, who's still stuck inside the whirlwind of Keyblades. The spell activates when it touches him, creating a shield made of hexagonal shapes. The shield momentarily disperses the oncoming Keyblades and halts the attacks. For a moment's respite, Terra is allowed time to breathe. But his time is cut short as the blades attack him with a vengeance, pushing him upward. However, the shield endures, protecting Terra in its interior. To his right, I see Terra is pushed to the cliff where M. Xehanort stands, waiting for him. Suddenly, the shield gives into the attacks and spontaneously combusts with Terra still in it.

Torn between helping Aqua and Terra, who seems to be in more immediate danger, I quickly decide that Aqua is in better shape—no matter how difficult it is to leave her when she needs me. I look at her from my peripherals one last time, seeing her eyes fixated on Terra, urging me to help while she can't. Her panting worries me, but the anger in my chest overpowers it.

_He's not only hurt Terra, but Aqua, too. I can't stand by and do nothing. Aqua, forgive me for leaving you here. But I'll do as you ask._

I find it difficult not to feel the emotions swell within me for these people I don't know. The person-inside-me's feelings prevail over all my senses. This doesn't feel like I'm watching something through his eyes anymore. It feels like I'm living the turmoil. My body, in accordance with this person's decisions, rushes over to Terra, leaving his most important person behind. The Keyblades no longer move on their own and begin to drop to the ground. Terra lands on the cliff M. Xehanort stands on. I trek the cliff as fast as I can, knowing that time is of the essence. If I don't hurry, both my friends could end up severely hurt. A sense of pride flows within me as I notice the speed at which my body moves.

_My name's not Ventus for nothing._

I slam my Keyblade into the side of the cliff, not before grabbing a secondary Keyblade, do a side-flip and propel myself from the rock, pulling my Keyblade out with the momentum, while stabbing the other one into the rock. I maintain this technique for as long as possible. As I near the top, I hear the sound of metal clashing and a body of armor dragging on the ground. The crystalizing sound of a Blizzaga spell reaches my ears.

_Who shot it?_

With no time to lose and fearing that it hit Terra, I give one final jump, forced to leave one Keyblade behind, reach the plateau, and swing at M. Xehanort with all my strength, catching a glimpse of Terra's left arm frozen up to his shoulder.

But before my eyes can process that my swing hit nothing but air, I feel a presence behind me, and a harsh grip on my helmet, suspending me in the air by my head. My neck stings with the weight of the rest of my body underneath it. I kick and flail around, trying to get out of M. Xehanort's hand. His grip tightens around my helmet and cracks when he applies more and more pressure. A sudden feeling clouds my mind. A Nobody, like myself, can never imagine such a horrible sensation. It's as if a poison, an acid tears through my insides while I can't even writhe in pain.

This is fear in its purest form.

I flail around, not allowing the trepidation to stun me immobile, watching Terra face me, holding his left arm.

_No, Terra. I don't want to be seen like this._

Terra stumbles to get up and attack, but suddenly from above, an oncoming barrage of Keyblades smash onto him and throw him off the cliff. Vanitas lands next to M. Xehanort. Ventus stops flailing, the paralysis from the fear finally entering his system as his impending doom draws nearer. The Keyblades continue down the cliff, not giving Terra a chance to get out of their grasp. By myself, in the grip of the enemy, Ventus can't help but panic.

_I have to get out of here. I have to get out. I'm at their mercy. What are they going to do to me? Terra…Aqua…_

I search for her with one last flail to the left. The right side of my visor breaks off and my eyes connect with hers, a small body on the ground.

_I'm sorry._

For a split second, both Ventus and my thoughts align to form one.

_**Help me**_**.**

Sudden pressure spreads through my body excruciatingly painfully. No sound comes out of my mouth.

_I won't yell. I won't give him that pleasure. _

The pressure encompasses all of my senses until I have none. They all melt away. No more pain. I can't feel. I can't move. I'm deprived of everything. I shift my eyes back and forth. My entire body's frozen.

Suddenly, Ventus's heart drops as he realizes we're suspended in the air. My body turns. We're falling off the cliff. We're going to shatter. My left arm suddenly feels lighter. I use my peripherals to see that my Keyblade shattered to bits. Then it dawns on me like a bucket of cold water. The fall isn't going to shatter me. This cliff is. I hit more parts of my body, but don't completely have anything break off. Until I see a protruding rock heading for my head is that I think about my end.

_This is it. __**It's over. **__I let everybody down._

I hit the rock with great pressure due to gravity and hear my helmet shatter off. At the bottom of the cliff, where my life would be coming to an end, I see Aqua dive and catch me before I hit the ground. Her armor creaks under the stone as she drags her body over it, holding me in her arms.

Ventus's heart skips a beat, palpitating inside our mutual body. She rearranges my rigid body and stares at me, making sure I'm alive. I move my eyes in silent gratitude.

_Aqua…**thank you**…_

M. Xehanort, from the highest cliff, gathers dark energy in the palm of his hand and shoots it up into the sky. The clouds in the sky above disperse, revealing an all too familiar heart-shaped moon. Aqua holds me tighter, blocking my view. I can only see her devastated face as she stares at the moon.

_Kingdom Hearts._

The once brightly lit sky darkens with the power of M. Xehanort. Aqua holds me, looking up at the highest cliff, wondering what's happening to Terra.

"Why don't you let me hold the popsicle for you?" A man says, "Get him off your hands, so you can go get revenge on your master, huh? Wasn't it your friend, Terra who offed him?"

Ventus can't recognize the voice, but I do. I know it all too well.

Aqua frowns, "Who are you?"

"You think both of you have a huge role to play in all of this," Xigbar ignores Aqua's question, "As if. You're really only here so I can kill you and have Terra turn to darkness. Won't take that long, seeing as how he already has a death on his hands. So, who wants to go first?"

Enraged, I crack from the shackles of ice, turning my head to the tertiary threat. "Shut up!"

I hesitate in my past assumption. This man isn't Xigbar. He looks like him, but slightly different. Could he be his Somebody? Interesting how he's exactly the same way. Nothing about him changed after he lost his heart. I wonder if I'll be here to see it happen. The man with the eye-patch laughs at my attempts to speak.

"Ha! Think you're a true Keyblade wielder? I don't know, but I'm not the one frozen solid now, am I?"

Aqua retorts in my defense, "Your mind tricks are on deaf ears! Regardless of what Terra did, he's a good person that can overcome any obstacle. Don't underestimate him!" Aqua puts me on the ground as I try with all my strength to thaw out of this annoying frozen water.

She stands, summoning her Keyblade, "Terra will prove to you he's stronger!"

She lunges at Xigbar's Somebody (Xigbar S.), summoning her Keyblade, raising it high, then crashes it into the ground, creating a shockwave of light.

Xigbar S. jumps, smirking at her power, calling forth his Arrowguns. "You might want to be careful. Wouldn't want to hit Icicle over there."

Aqua ignores his taunt, watching as he lands behind me, putting a foot on my chest.

"Leave him out of this!" she yells.

Xigbar S. chuckles, "Puppet, why are you so angry? I'm not doing anything." He lets his foot land heavily on my chest. I hear my armor crack. Aqua aims in less than a second, and unleashes a powerful fireball. It's dual-purpose serves me well. As it passes over me, it not only repels Xigbar S., but it also manages to thaw me out more. The ice melts over my body, but not enough for me to get out. I continue my struggle to help Aqua.

Xigbar S. shoots arrows of light while Aqua dodge rolls. Her armor makes it difficult for her to jump high, however she makes up for it with powerful magic spells and demonstrations of physical strength. I can see why she's Ventus's most important person.

Xigbar S. runs up to me again, figuring out that I'm currently Aqua's weak point. Nonetheless, Aqua runs up the cliff in front of us at a forty-five degree angle, twists her body, and launches herself with light surrounding her, rotating her body. Xigbar S. doesn't have enough time to react and is hit by her Keyblade head on. She rebounds off him and comes in flight again, slashing at him with her blade. As she batters him with her aerial attacks, Xigbar S. lifts his Arrowgun and shoots her in the chest. Aqua grunts, falling to the ground. Xigbar S. immediately buffets her with arrows of light again and again. Aqua's body jolts upward with the hits. I groan loudly, trying to thaw myself out until finally, my armor cracks. A few pieces of metal fall off my body as I jump up and kick Xigbar S. in the back, giving Aqua enough time to shoot him with Blizzaga. His body freezes momentarily.

"Are you okay?" She asks, wiping a string of blood that came out of the corner of her mouth.

"How can you be worried about me, Aqua? You're the one that was—"

"Yes or no, Ven?"

Ventus slouches his back in defeat, "Yes…"

"Good." She mutters, watching Xigbar S. thaw. "Since you don't have a Keyblade, use mine."

Ventus takes her blade in confusion. "What will _you_ use to fight?"

Aqua stands straight in her fighting stance, "I don't need a Keyblade for this guy."

Inside me, I can feel Ventus's admiration for her grow. Oddly enough, he sees her as an older sister and a woman.

"Alright, Aqua. Whatever you say." Ventus hunches in his fighting stance, grabbing the blade in reverse hold, waiting.

As soon as Xigbar S. breaks through the ice, Aqua bombards him with three fireballs, surrounding them with lightning. Xigbar S. barely has enough time to get his Arrowguns out, shooting at the flaming spheroids, making them explode in his face, electricity surging through the air. While he's distracted, I rush underneath him and buffet him in the gut with a light attack. The assault pushes him back into the cliff, creating a crater around his body. As he lifts his head, momentarily disoriented, Aqua sweeps in with a fierce yell, kicking him in the stomach, her foot powered with light. He falls to the ground. We wait for him to stand.

"How honorable. You don't kick your opponent when he's down." He chuckles, blood coming out of his mouth, "That'll be your downfall."

Aqua charges up lightning in the palm of her hand, demonstrating a small amount of her immense power, "You are in no position to talk down to us."

Xigbar S. chuckles, spitting the blood on the ground, he raises his arms in defeat, "I lose. Two against one is no fair, puppet."

Aqua frowns at him, wondering what he's up to, but releases the energy to the side, stretching her arm to her right while keeping her eyes on Xigbar S.. I watch as the lightning illuminates the area, leaving traces of electricity behind. That attack would have been fatal.

"Distraction complete." Xigbar S. smirks.

I notice movement above us. As I look up, I see Vanitas jump off the top of the cliff. I aim Aqua's Keyblade at him, but miss, not used to the weight and length difference.

"Aqua!" I push her to the side, getting the full blow of the hit.

Aqua lands on the ground and looks up.

Time seems to stand still as I process what has just occurred. My head jaggedly looks down at my chest, noticing the sword stabbed into it.

I hear Aqua gasp.

I meekly grab at the Keyblade, attempting to pull it out. The motions make my body seem heavy and the air impossible to breathe. I see Vanitas peering at me with interest, watching, waiting.

"Ven!" Aqua shrieks, her voice slowly dissipating.

"Without you in the way, _I _can become the x-blade wielder." Vanitas murmurs, watching me as my eyes continue to close. Aqua growls in anguish, summoning her Keyblade, and shoots Vanitas with a combination of fire, ice, gravity, and lightning. He dodges her half of her attacks with the help of shield, however, he is still affected by the lightning and gravity push. Vanitas manages to disappear using a dark portal. Clearly, he'd accomplished his goal.

I fall to the ground, a gaping hole in my chest, emitting light.

Aqua shakes her head back and forth, "No, no, no. Ven, you can't do this me. You can't die."

I laugh at the notion of dying. What was so wrong with it?

A portal opens behind Aqua. Vanitas steps out of it as she holds me in her arms. I take short, jagged breaths as the light escapes my chest.

"Ven, I'll protect you! I promise! I'll definitely protect you!"

I can't smile at her. I can only see Vanitas lifting his blade to pierce it through her heart.

"Aqua…"

I close my eyes, but not before I see her turn around, hoping she managed to stop the Apprentice in time. I exhale my final breath, letting darkness envelop me.

_Let _me _protect you once._

* * *

Xion

I place the 7th shell on the stack that had accumulated in the past few days. I kneel on the floor to rest my head on the side of the bed.

"Roxas…what's happening to you? Why haven't you woken up?"

Not expecting him to answer me, I caress his cheek once more and attempt to move his bangs from his eyes to no avail again.

"Nothing new to tell you. Axel's still a no show and so is that mysterious guy that confronted me. He might even be lurking among us and I would have no way of knowing. Missions have been lonely. Ice cream has gotten dull. Nothing's the same without you, Roxas. I don't know what to do anymore. It feels like I'm just doing things automatically. Go in, come out, eat, sleep, wake up and do it all over again. And for what? Kingdom Hearts? I stare at my window and see it every night, but I still don't understand why I'm doing what I'm doing. What's the point?"

I stop venting and sigh. "It's not just that. I don't understand _any_thing. Like how we got here. Who found us? Why are we 'born' at a certain age? Why can't we be with everyone else? Why can't we live in Twilight Town or in other worlds? Why do we force ourselves to be isolated and alone? What good do we get out of this?"

I stand up and sit on the edge of the bed, looking down. "Sometimes I think of running away. But you know the one thing that stops me?" I turn to him, "You. I can't leave you behind with these people when you're helpless and dependent. You're my first friend. The least I can do is stay by your side. I'll wait for you until you wake up. I promise."

I stand up and walk to the door, taking one last glance at him.

"Thanks for letting me vent."

* * *

Kairi

I dab a wet cloth across Roxas's face.

Riku opens the door to my tree house and steps in. "Anything new?"

I shake my head. "Nothing. He's been like this forever."

"Is he dead?"

I smack Riku hard on the arm.

"_Ow_! Just asking!"

I frown, "Not funny, Riku!" I turn back to Roxas, "It's not normal for him to be like this. Something's wrong."

Riku shrugs, "It could have been caused by anything. I mean—we hardly know the guy. We've gotten to know him more by watching him sleep."

I gaze at Roxas, "He sometimes mumbles and grows restless."

Riku frowns, "What's that mean? He's dreaming?"

I nod, "Probably. He's been sleeping _a lot._ Remember when we found him? He was sleeping. And then the first time I found him, he was snoozing by the shore."

Riku shrugs, "Guy likes to catch his Z's."

I hear another knock on the door.

"Come in!" I call.

Selphie, Tidus, and Wakka walk in.

"How's he doin'? Selphie asks.

I shake my head, "He's just sleeping."

"Has he shown any signs of waking up?" Tidus interjects.

I shake my head again. "No. He's just been like this for—"

Rustling from the bed makes me stop midsentence. I slowly look down at Roxas, who had turned on his side. He moans. He bats his eyes slightly, trying to get accustomed to the light coming from the outside. He stretches his hands into the air and yawns. He sits up and opens his eyes slowly. All five of us stare wide-eyed and open-mouthed. I drop the towel on the wooden floor.

"Roxas!" Tidus, Selphie, and Wakka explode.

"You finally woke up!" Selphie exclaims.

"What's going on?" Tidus asks.

"How are you?" Wakka questions.

"Are you okay?" I inquire.

Roxas just sits and stares at us, unable to listen to the barrage of questions after his long nap. Instead, he addresses me while the others ramble on.

"What happened, Kairi? Why am I here?"

I frown at him, "You mean, you don't feel anything?"

He furrows his eyebrows, "Like what?"

"Pain." I suggest, "Your body doesn't hurt?"

He shakes his head, "Why? How long was I out?"

I resist the urge to hug him from how happy I am that he's awake.

"Roxas, you've been asleep for four days."

* * *

**A/N:**

Shorter than the last, but more action packed, no?

Just what the heck happened here? Why did Roxas just go through inception? (Mind you all, I wrote this _before _Inception came out, in my high school days, so this was an original thought without a name. :P)

Anyways, why'd Roxas wake up in the other reality? _I__s _it a reality? Is it a dream? Just what is the meaning behind all these friendships? Why does Roxas spend most of his time in comas? What changed Vanitas's agenda? Why is he intent on _killing_ the person that can create the x-blade? What will M. Xehanort have to say about this? So many questions and once again, they will all be answered in due time!

Until the next chapter! (which is also kind of short, but not really)

_**SL**_


	7. Interlude

**A/N:**

The plot thickens.

For those moments when you wonder what anything has to do with anything, all I can say is: your patience will be rewarded.

_**SL**_

* * *

**Interlude**

Scattered dreams that resemble distant memories.

Distant memories that resemble scattered dreams.

What's truly important?

I don't want to forget.

I need to line the pieces up.

But how?


	8. Mission of Sleep

**A/N: **

Hello people!

Thanks for reading this far into my story. I hope it's been to your liking. As promised that every chapter will be dedicated to the people that review, this is dedicated to rarmaster for R&R even though she has her own KH fic. I'm glad that mine caught your attention amongst all the other fics. It stinks that we won't be posting neighbors anymore! :(

Without further ado, here's "Mission of Sleep" where questions are semi-answered and more are gained!

_**SL**_

* * *

**Chapter 6: **

**Mission of Sleep**

_Shell 7 x __Day 7_

Kairi

Roxas stares blankly past me.

"Four—four days?" he stutters.

I nod slowly.

He turns, placing his legs on the floor, stunned. "How did that…happen?"

I'm not sure if by 'happen' he means what happened in his dreams or what made him sleep so long. I walk around the end of the bed to his side, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Are you okay?"

Just as he's about to answer, his abdomen churns so loudly that everybody quiets down. We stare at him.

Roxas meekly holds his stomach. "I'm kind of hungry."

We burst into laughter with the guys glomping Roxas with affection.

"Hey listen!" I lift my hands up for peace, "You goofballs! Roxas's hungry. Let's go eat!"

"_Ya_, man!" Wakka pulls on Roxas's arm, standing him up. Roxas holds on weakly to Wakka's shoulder. We watch in silence as he struggles, comprehending the toll his slumber took on him.

He chuckles shyly, "Guess I haven't moved in a while."

"L-let's go!" Selphie hugs one of his arms. I try not to let that bother me. They walk out of the room, leaving behind the tranquil sound of silence. Tidus walks behind them, but stops at the door and turns around.

"Kairi, you coming?"

I don't notice I'm being left behind. Can it be I want it that way?

"I'll be there in a minute. You go on ahead."

He nods and steps out.

I sigh, running my fingers through my short hair, plopping down on the bed, trying to sort out my mixed feelings.

I make no sense.

I want Sora back but I don't want Roxas to leave. I don't want them together either. If they were together then that would make me have to choose. I groan out of exasperation. How can I be this confused over a boy I've just met? Why do I even have trouble being around him? Is it his striking resemblance to Sora?

I turn on my side, my head on the pillow where Roxas's head had laid. I unconsciously find myself seeking his warmth transmitted through the sheets. I take a small breath, his scent pouring into my lungs. I hug the pillow and curl into a ball.

I'm a horrible person.

* * *

Roxas

We went to Wakka's tree house to eat some seafood they brought from the other island. Selphie never let go of my arm as we ate. After a while, I somehow managed to get out of her grasp and excused myself.

...

"Wait! Where're you goin'?" Selphie whines.

Tidus frowns angrily, "Leave him alone, Selphie. When you gotta go, you gotta go."

Selphie sits back down on her chair. "Ohh."

I didn't stand up because I have to go to the restroom, but if that's my ticket out of here, I'm taking it.

"Yeah," I smile, scratching an itch on the back of my head. "I'll be back soon."

I walk outside the house, jump over to a nearby tree and slide down to the sand, stumbling over my shoes and fall face first. I cough out the sand I inhaled, sneezing up a storm. I struggle to lift myself up, rubbing my burnt nose. These naps of mine are really hindering my mobility. How can muscles atrophy in a couple of days? I stand up with more ease, wondering where I want to go, patting my body down. The only thing I want is solitude. I stare at the ground for a few minutes. When I look up, I realize my legs brought me to Paopu Island. I walk up to the oddly bent tree, hop onto it, and stare at the horizon.

My mind drifts to memories of peaceful days on this island. I remember when I was complaining about what I needed to do to get out of here. Now that I 'returned' from somewhere else, I realize how nice life is on this island. There's nothing to threaten me, nothing to expose me to emotions I'd rather not have felt or understood. These islands seem to be the last haven in the universe. Why would I want to leave?

The soft heat of the breeze mixed with the ocean mist caresses my tired face. I squint my eyes, trying to stare directly at the sun, challenging its power. I turn away quickly, feeling ridiculous for having such a notion. I grab a Paopu fruit and take a bite out of it, swallowing it after I savor the star for a moment, my mind drifting to the dream. I look at my hands, remembering the anesthesia that coursed throughout my body, immobilizing me completely. What a horrible sensation. It was so real that there's no way that could have been a dream. Those events _must _be memories. Aqua and Terra flash through my mind. How did I know who they were and why did I feel so much attachment to them? I correct myself. Those weren't my feelings. That wasn't my body. Those weren't my friends. Those weren't my memories. These memories have an owner and somehow, I can see them when I sleep. I place a hand where my heart should be, remembering the sensation of the sword going past my ribs, piercing my lungs, until it reached the vital, beating organ. I wait to feel that familiar drumming, but am sorely disappointed when my chest reciprocates emptiness. I clench my shirt with force, once again, deprived of that which makes Somebodies unique and enviable. Ventus's emotions surged through me like a cascade falling over a precipice without a dam to detain the flow, overwhelming me to the point of drowning. Ventus allowed me to see what it was like to bear a heart. He helped me understand that Somebodies and Nobodies aren't that different. The singular distinction between him and I is that emotions for him are magnified. If I felt worry, he would be anxious. The image of Aqua in the line of Vanitas's attack drove Ventus to the fringe of insanity. He couldn't even bear to think about her death, therefore, his solution was to die in her place. Even though I don't know their history as friends, I could sense that Aqua doesn't have the same attachment to Ventus as he does to her. The lack of logic—the lack of rational—astonished me. In the end, no matter how nonsensical his action was, I admire how Ventus went against his survival instincts to push her out of the way, essentially sacrificing himself to save her, knowing that his affections will never be requited. I just wish he hadn't tagged me along for the ride.

Who are M. Xehanort and Vanitas? What was Xigbar's Somebody doing there? What do they have to do with me?

I grab my head with my hands and press hard, hoping that I have enough strength to press my skull into my brain. I stop when I realize that all I'm managing to do is squish my hair. My arms drop to the side. I lie down on the trunk and inhale slowly. I close my eyes, waiting for the darkness to swallow me up. I wish there weren't any more questions.

I open my eyes again, only to find myself staring at Kairi's blue irises. I immediately sit up with a yelp of surprise.

"Kairi!"

Instead of laughing like she usually would, Kairi's forlorn. "Sorry, Roxas. I was worried because I thought you'd be sleeping like last time." She stares at the ground, "I don't know why, but I suddenly got the feeling that you wouldn't wake up again."

I tilt my head to side, enkindled by her concern. It's nice to have someone worry about me, especially a person that I met and befriended on my own.

"Don't worry about something like that, Kairi. If I fall asleep, I'll wake up." I pat her on the head with a smile, "I'm not going anywhere."

Her cheeks beget a reddish color. She leans on the tree, looking at the ocean.

"I wasn't sleeping anyway." I clarify. I don't want to anymore. Dreams give me false hopes of what could be my memories when none of them have been mine.

"Liar." She says.

I don't correct her this time, letting her believe what she wants while I torture myself with memories that don't belong to me, replaying them in my head again and again.

"Roxas, are you okay?" She asks with concern.

I smile forcefully, hoping it looks natural, "Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

Kairi isn't convinced. "After sleeping for so long, it's hard to believe you're alright."

"It's nothing, Kairi. It's nothing." I repeat.

She gets on the tree, scooting close to me, pushing my legs down to the side of the trunk. She scoots closer until she's too close.

"Kairi…"

To my utter surprise, she wraps her arms around me, pinning my arms to my sides. I stay as stiff as a rock, speechless.

"I'm not moving from here until you tell me what happened! You have to tell me what's bothering you!"

I am stunned with her reactions. I come out of one conflict that nearly tore me apart, only to be placed in another that won't disappear as easily as waking up from a dream.

She looks up at me with a frown, "Why are you always walking off by yourself? Don't you like us? Why are you so lonely when _we're_ here?"

I don't know how to respond. What does she want me to tell her? What's the right answer to just end this dispute? Xion's face suddenly replaces Kairi's. I turn away, not wanting to delude myself.

"Can you let go?"

"No!" she insists. "Not until you tell me what's happening!"

I squirm out of her grasp, not wanting to push her in case she falls off the tree, so I look at her and try persuading her.

"Kairi. I'm fine. You don't have to worry so much."

She shakes her head fervently. I can tell she isn't going to change her mind if I don't say something different.

"Roxas, how can you expect me to believe you when you just appeared out of nowhere? We don't know anything about you!"

"—And why do you need to?" I interrupt with a rough tone.

Kairi remains silent.

I look away from her, feeling as if I'm reprimanding Xion. "You don't need to know everything about me. What I do and don't do is none of your business." I close my eyes, partly to escape her gaze and partly because I'm thinking about Xion and how much I miss her. I don't like having to be like this, but if it's the only way to rid myself of her prying questions, then I'll do it. I don't need anyone pestering me right now. I just want to be alone.

Kairi is silent for a long time. I question whether she'd move if I left. I jump off the tree, heading to the cave.

"If you prove it, I'll drop it."

I turn to her.

She moves her body around to face me, "If you prove you're okay, I'll leave you alone, alright?"

I scoff, "What am I supposed to do—jump up and down?" This is the first time I'm being sarcastic, but tonight she crossed a boundary I'd firmly placed when I got here and I don't appreciate that. Her semblance is too difficult to process. I settle for staring at a point near her body.

"Spend more time with us—with the group. Then, I'll believe you."

I put my hands on my hips, leaning my head back, facing the sky. Why do I need to prove anything to anyone? My immediate thought is to deny her demand, but simultaneously, I don't know how much longer I'm going to be here. Having them on my good side is better than the opposite. How about I simply ignore what she just said?

I get a running start and jump off the island, splashing into the water underneath.

Kairi peaks from the edge in surprise, "Roxas!"

I smile triumphantly and wave, swimming backwards. She calls after me while I flip into the water, opening my eyes underneath. The salt burns them, but I try to get used to it. Holding my breath, I analyze my surroundings with a fresh mind. I enjoy the fish as some make their way towards me, probably because they're used to people. As I tread deeper into the water, my lungs demand for air. I return to the surface, taking only the necessary breaths I need before continuing my dive. I swim as much and as far as I can for one reason alone: escape. Before, I wondered when the ocean would end. Maybe if I swam far enough, I'd bump into the invisible barrier that's keeping this world together. But now, I want the ocean to remain infinite. I want it to take me to where no one has gone before and to continue taking me there, never stopping my quest, never detaining me from the truth. The water in my ears numbs all sound, the pressure building. While in the sanctity of the sea, I'm allowed to lose myself in my mind, thinking of one person: Xion. I don't know if given the choice, I'd want to go back to the Organization, but if it's to see Xion, then I can make the sacrifice.

I burst to the surface, taking a deep breath. In the distance, I see the small island about a mile away. I whistle a descending note, congratulating myself for swimming this far without breaks, since before coming here I didn't even know beaches existed. Oddly enough, I'm not scared that I'm this distant. I don't fear for my life or any of the things Tidus mentioned four days ago. I lie back, allowing myself to float, employing the technique Kairi and Riku showed me.

The water remains still. I stare up into the sky.

Why can't my life be like this ocean: deep, full, and infinite? At that notion, I wonder why it is that I like the ocean so much. Truth is, I want to leave this place—I really do. I don't know how much more I can stand this isolation, this absorption, this _tiny _island anymore. How can anyone bear this suffocation? It's like being at the bottom of the sea, rendered helpless to the tons of gallons of leagues above the shoulders until one's head just bursts from the pressure of it all.

I float in the water, letting the current take me even further away.

Instantly, I understand the reason why even against my own will I like this ocean. It's because it reminds me of Xion. Swimming in this sea is like basking in her presence. There are no words to describe her. Only seeing this expansive beach can fully illustrate her essence. Peaceful, serene, blue, and comforting come close. Lonely…

I sit up in the water, wading my arms and legs, disturbed by the thought. If exploited without moderation, even the ocean it all its wonder can seem lonely. It's something I hadn't taken into account. How is being the only person in the ocean not the same as being the only person anywhere else, be it an island or the Organization? I look at the other islands as they appear in the horizon, the waves around me getting rough. Not even islands come alone. It might seem like I seek solitude, but what I really search for is companionship, except from the right people. Right now, I want to be with Xion and Axel—not these children.

Xion's probably lonely right now somewhere in the Castle That Never Was without Axel nor I. I'm sure the Organization members don't even bother with her—too busy with their missions. Even Demyx who's the most amicable of the group can follow orders. Xion's even more alone than I am. At least I'm surrounded by people that care for me, even if they've only known me for a week.

I wish I could help her in some way. There _must_ be a way. What can I do from Destiny Islands? I'm here and she's over there. I continue floating in the water, closing my eyes. Maybe Axel's been found. Maybe he's with her, keeping her company. I wish I could be there. If Axel's with her, then he's a lucky guy. I open my eyes, staring at the blue sky—the sun past the middle.

I want to find _something_ to do on this measly island. Where is everyone else? Where's Sora? I straighten my body, the water reaching my chest. I look around, noticing one of the other islands closer than the main island. I decide to swim for it.

As I stroke, I realize I'm not gaining any distance. The new island keeps getting further away. I summon my Keyblade. With the help of my weapon, I create an ice bridge for myself until I reach the shore. I step off the ice, surveying my surroundings.

"Hello!" I call out, hoping to meet some of the people that the children interact with everyday. I receive no response, walking further into the island. This place is quite different from the other one. The land here is much more stable. The ground doesn't only consist of sand and the houses aren't made haphazardly. They line the entirety of the island, all built away from the volcano located in the center. I wonder if that has ever erupted. I continue my walk though the dirt paths, entering a long neighborhood with small hills and palm trees looming over the residences, looking for any signs of viability.

"Is anyone here?"

I keep moving, pondering if people don't like responding to strangers. Even so, the place is desolate.

After walking around for twenty minutes, I call forth the courage to knock on one of the doors of the houses. I receive no response. I stand outside the house, staring at the wooden entrance, pondering if I should just walk in. I listen to my thoughts and audaciously enter the household.

"Sorry for breaking in!"

The dwelling is empty. There isn't any form of furniture or sign that anyone ever inhabited here. A cold sensation develops in the pit of my stomach. I rush out of the house, leaving the door open, running into the one in front, only to see the same thing: emptiness. I deny what I see. I rush into another house, then another, and another, until I've seen all the houses on the island, ending up on the shore that faces the main isle.

"Hello!" I bellow, "Is anyone out there! Please answer me!"

My voice comes back as a hollow echo. I fall to the ground in shock. This can't be happening to me. This is not possible. There's no one on this island. I'm the only person here.

As the doubt erases from my mind with every passing thought, I come to realize the reality of the situation.

"There are no other people here because this isn't real." I speak out loud, only then will I believe what I'm saying. Even my thoughts can be false. I put a hand to my mouth, breathing slowly, staring at the other island. "I can't imagine anyone here because I don't know enough people to populate this area. Those children over there are kids I've met before, but I don't remember where."

I pick up sand and eat it, swallowing without difficulty.

"This is all in my head. I can eat wood if I wanted to and not have any problem."

I summon my Keyblade, turn it on myself, and shoot a fire blast. My clothes singes to my chest painfully, my face melting. I close my eyes, focusing on erasing the pain. Slowly, my clothes mend back and my face is normal once more. I chuckle. Suddenly everything is humorous. With this realization, I throw my Keyblade into the ocean, yelling and laughing as loudly as I can. The hysterical laughter contorts into tears. In this world, I can experience all the emotions I want as long as I want. Kairi comes to mind, her words echoing in my head.

"_Why are you always walking off by yourself? Don't you like us? Why are you so lonely when _we're_ here?"_

"_We don't know anything about you!"_

"_Spend more time with us—with the group. Then, I'll believe you."_

I put my hands on my head, closing the space around me.

I recall the way I couldn't distinguish Kairi from Xion at times, her face suddenly changing. I could change it back to Kairi's face with effort, but if I wanted to, I could have kept it as Xion's face. Tidus was a fighting companion. Wakka was comic relief. Selphie was a fan girl. Kairi was Xion and Riku was Axel.

I claw at the sand in front of me.

They were created deep from within my subconscious to provide me with comfort. I even gave them fixed personalities to convince myself of their validity. I'll never be able to get out. None of this is real because all of it is a dream. I'm not on an island right now. I've never talked to anyone. I've been alone all this time.

I'm in a coma.

* * *

Xion

A horde of Heartless come at me.

I frantically cast all the spells I know, but the fiends overwhelm me. Survival becomes imperative in my mind. A Pure Heartless jumps up out of the legion and scratches me across the face. I groan in pain, running away, watching as they crawl close to my heels. I jump high in the air, raise my Keyblade, and summon pillars of light from beneath the ground, successfully eliminating all but four Heartless. That was my last Limit Break. I jump higher and glide, watching as they stare at me from down below. As I'm gliding, I extend my hand and create a dark portal. My body goes through the darkness, appearing in the Grey Area, my stomach sliding on the floor. The portal closes behind me. My eyes take a while to accustom to the paleness of the room.

"You." I hear a demeaning voice call out. I quickly get up, brushing off any dust from my coat. I check if my hood's still on and face Saïx. "Yes?"

"Why are you back so early?" Demyx, whom I hadn't noticed, is sitting on one of the couches. I quickly scan the rest of the room, wondering whom else I failed to see.

"Precisely my question." Saïx diverts my attention back to him, "Why're you back here? I'm certain that collecting hearts isn't a hasty process."

I ponder if I should tell him that there were simply too many Heartless attacking me at once that I had to run away. However, the thing I least what to do is prove to Saïx that I'm incapable of these missions—that I'm exactly what he says: weak.

"I'll go back later." I respond.

Saïx frowns, "Dodging the question?"

I remain silent.

He scoffs, directing his next statement at Demyx.

"This is the weakest link of the chain that makes up Organization XIII. It will be our downfall."

With that said, he walks away, down the corridor that leads to the rest of the Castle. I clench my fists until I feel my nails dig into my skin past my gloves. He called me 'it' again. Like I'm an object. He ridiculed me again in front of the only Organization member I don't mind. I'm nothing but a tool—a useless tool. One that can be discarded at any time.

I stand in place for a while, feeling Demyx's stare on me.

"Umm…" he finally says, "Are you okay?"

I lift my arm and summon a portal. "I'm going out." I turn slightly. "Don't look for me."

I walk in, letting myself succumb to darkness.

* * *

The portal opens to reveal a nice, quiet, and cool island.

The salty breeze caresses my face, the waves music to my ears. I'm glad I stumbled upon this place. It's odd how I _could_ have stumbled on it because when summoning a portal, I've got to know where I want to go or else I'll be swallowed by the darkness. How did I think of this place if I've never been here before? Was it because Roxas mentioned it? How peculiar that his dream world actually existed.

I take off my boots and gloves, slip off my coat, and stay in my black undershirt and pants. I walk along the shore peacefully, enjoying the silence, loving the feeling of the sand in between my toes. A sort of excitement develops in my chest. My empty core fills up with the emotion to the point that I can't contain it. A small giggle and a smile erupt from within me. I jump around on the shore, letting the water and the sand stick to my toes. My pants get heavy with liquid. I remove them, staying in my girl boxers, tossing the clothes to the side. The cool water gives me a quick chill. I giggle like I've seen children do, bending down and picking up some water, throwing it into the air.

Suddenly, I stab my foot with something hard. The giddiness evaporates as the pain spreads to the rest of my leg.

I moan in pain, bending down to pick up the star-shaped rock. I flip it over, observing it's odd exterior. I decide to throw it back into the ocean. As I watch it sink into the water, I realize I want to jump in as well. I plunge in without boundaries, swimming as if I've known how to do it all my life. I swim for about ten minutes before finally letting myself float.

"Ah, I love this place." I murmur.

"Love," a distinct, yet distant voice calls out to me. "That's weird. How can a Nobody love anything?"

I quickly lift my head, looking at the shore, searching for the source of the voice.

"Who's there?" I yell above the sound of the waves.

"C'mon, Xion. Forgot about me already?"

Excitement quickly swells within me as I realize whose voice I'm listening to. Can it be? After all this time, is it Roxas's first friend?

"Axel?"

He appears through a portal—red, spiky hair that I hadn't seen for what seemed like forever fills my sight. He does his signature pose and says, "Yeah. Axel. Got it memorized?"

I swim as fast as I can toward him, pushing through the water, struggling. I finally feel sand underneath my feet. I pant, moving through the small waves. Axel's grin grows wider as he sees me get closer, extending his arms. I jump into the air, gliding to get to him faster.

"Axel!"

My first thought as he wraps his arms around me in a hug is that Roxas will be so happy.

He stumbles on the sand, pushed back by my weight and momentum, falling with me landing on him.

I chuckle at the situation, moving off of him, sitting with my legs in front of me. "Sorry for knocking you down! I was just so happy to see you! Where have you been? We thought you were destroyed!" It's ironic that I feel like I know him already just because of how much Roxas mentioned him.

He looks down, his joyous face growing somber, "I can't tell you yet. I'm not even supposed to be here."

I calm down and smile at him, understanding. "Okay. That's fine. Thank you for coming to see me, though. At least letting me know you're alive so I can tell Roxas. He was devastated when he heard that you'd been destroyed at Castle Oblivion."

Axel scoffs, "Listen to you. Devastated." He looks away, "We don't know what devastation is."

I frown, "Then if it's not devastation, then what is it?"

He returns his gaze to me.

I continue, "I know that I felt something when I saw you. I also know that Roxas was torn to shreds at the news. Devastated is the only word that comes to mind." I smile, pushing away any negative thoughts, "It's good to have you back, Axel."

His normally pale face for a moment clashes with his red hair as he stares into the distance. He reminds me of the time when I was with Roxas in his room.

"Xion, you should put on your coat."

I look down at myself confused, then at him, "Why?"

He stands, giving his back to me, "B-because. You just should."

I get up out of curiosity and walk around to stare at him. His face is ruby red. I laugh at his reaction, walking over to where I left my clothing. Before I put them on, I cup my hands, spreading them as I create a sphere of air, enlarging it until it sweeps past me and around me, blowing all the water and sand off my body. A small crater forms around me. I slip on the coat, gloves, pants, and boots. By the time I turn around, Axel's nowhere to be seen.

"Axel?"

I walk to where he'd been standing, staring at his footprints in the sand. He left a message etched into the ground.

_Sorry I had to leave abruptly, but duty calls. If you miss me-__like I know you will-come by here again tomorrow. Same time. I'll be here._

I bend down and trace the letters, smiling. My finger stumbles on another message:

_P. S._

_Don't tell anybody!_

I let out a small chuckle and erase the message with my foot. I open a portal, but before I go in, I suddenly remember about Roxas. I walk over to the shore and grab a pretty shell, sticking it into my pocket. I walk to the portal and leave the island behind.

* * *

I arrive directly into Roxas's room so as to avoid any unwanted encounters. I place the seventh shell on his bed.

"Hey Roxas! How are you doing? I know you can't answer back, but I've got to ask you anyways!"

I sit down on the side of the bed and brush Roxas's hair. It stays to the side this time.

"Guess who I saw today?" I look around cautiously and lean close to his ear. "Axel…"

I lean back up, "But unfortunately, that's all I can tell you because even _I_ don't know the whole story behind his disappearance. We're on the same page even though you're sleeping and I'm awake. There's one thing I _can_ tell you, although I'm a little ashamed by it. Well…I failed a mission." I put my hands up defensively, "I know what you're going to say, not to beat myself up and try harder. I know. I'm trying. I'm not about to let Saïx get to me."

I frown in anger, but as I gaze at Roxas's blissful face, my anger can't help but dissipate. I lie down next to him, feeling his warmth. "I miss you, Roxas. It's unusual how you're here, yet I miss you. Today was a 'good day.' You're missing so much."

I grab his hand in mine, holding it as I close my eyes and let sleep begin it's course.

* * *

**A/N:**

Look at Roxas, the master of avoidance. I'm thinking that I should do something like that too. If someone tells me to do something I don't want to, I'm just gonna jump off a dock! SWIM AWAY! He also knows he's in a coma. Let's watch him test his theory in the next chapter...

In other important news, Axel's back! Finally, after being gone for forever! At least Xion knows he's alive. But what the heck is the guy doing? Why was he gone for so long and why couldn't he tell Xion?

More chapters coming up with more answers. It's almost time for Roxas's awakening.

_**SL**_


	9. Mission of Dreams: Illusions

**A/N:**

Merry belated Christmas!

On a side note, this chapter was so long that I actually had to split it up into two chapters. Why didn't I just make it into chapter 8? Because of reasons you'll understand later. This is also the longest I've written, breaking my record of 8 thousand something words to 10,147+ words. My brain is killing me right now. I'm also finished with the journal, so much of this is written on the spot instead of contemplating what I meant back in my high school days.

In other important news, I would like to dedicate this chapter to Rixion for reviewing/favoriting/following my story! Your review made me very happy!

I hope this chapter is to your liking! A lot of things are going to change from now on!

_**SL**_

* * *

**Chapter 7: **

**Mission of Dreams: Illusions**

Roxas 

As I reach the main isle, dragging my leaden feet across the sand, the island I left behind disappears in a thick mist, leaving not a trace of its presence. My head leans back into the sky while I wonder if the sun will one day disappear as well, abandoning me in my abysmal consciousness.

I walk lifelessly along the shore. Would it be better to sleep the rest of the time here, dreaming in a dream until I go so far into my mind that there's no method to distinguish what is reality and what is fantasy? If there's any hope of my waking from this coma, that wouldn't benefit me at all. What can I do to pass the indiscernible time I'm forced to spend here? It's as if I am in a prison cell, conscious of the bars detaining me and having nothing more to do than wait for the end of my sentence at the whim of a higher power.

I hear my name called out in the distance, interrupting my thoughts. I've grown accustomed to this voice, even though I couldn't have heard it anywhere before. Like when I was first created, I monotonously follow the sound of life on the island that can only be a figment of my imagination, pondering why it hasn't disappeared yet.

* * *

I see Kairi standing on the dock, hands cupped to her lips, yelling out my name with anguish. I didn't realize my avoidance had this much of an effect on her.

"We're coming for you, Roxas!" Selphie joins in.

The guys sit on the dock, their legs dangling from the edge, staring at them.

"Girls, he's probably alright." Tidus comments. "He's not the kind of guy to die because of this. I would know—I fought him."

Wakka agrees, "_Ya_. He's strong."

Riku shrugs, "I don't care either way. Maybe he went back to where _ever_ he came from. He looked anxious to leave anyway."

Kairi turns to him, aghast, "Don't say that! He would've told us!" Her gaze falters to the ground, "He said he wasn't going anywhere…"

Selphie hops down from the dock, jumping into one of the boats they use to travel between the islands.

"Kairi, let's go! He could be drowning!"

I make my way towards them before the girls sail into the infinite sea of my mind's eye. It's a bizarre sentiment, worrying about the fabrications of my dreams. The attachment I feel for them is real, yet not.

Wakka and Tidus notice me first.

"Hey, man."

"Where you been?"

The girls' boat is released into the waves.

Riku calls out, "Kairi! He's here!"

She turns and sees me, her eyes growing wide. Riku rushes to the water, grabs the boat, and swims back to shore. He ties it once he reaches the dock, completely drenched. Riku extends a hand to them. Selphie takes it, hoping off the boat. Instead of following suit, Kairi ignores Riku, jumps out, runs up to me, and wraps her arms around my body. Her small, warm torso trembles against my cold, frigid one. It takes me a moment to process her actions. I look down at her lethargically, meditating on what I should do. She's not real and she's here to comfort me. Should I allow myself to be consoled or should I make her disappear? Do I want reality or do I want loneliness? Why would my subconscious produce her as Kairi in the first place? If this is in my mind, does it matter what I do?

I shut my eyes tightly.

My arms move of their own accord, embracing her firmly, willing her to become the girl I miss the most in all the worlds.

_Xion, appear in my arms. Stay with me forever._

When I pull back, I open my eyes, only to see Kairi standing in front of me. I put my hands roughly on her shoulders, "Where's Xion? Why are you still Kairi?"

Kairi gapes at me as if I've stabbed her with a million daggers to the heart. It's a look of utter betrayal. She pushes me, running off to the other side of the island.

"Kairi!" Riku yells, chasing after her. As he passes me, he shakes his head, "You idiot!"

I wobble to the side, not having the energy to deal with her problems. I only want to fix mine. I flop on the sand and stare at nothing in particular.

Wakka approaches me, "Why'd you do that, man?"

I close my eyes, wishing he would disappear.

"Who's Xion?" Tidus asks.

I only open them to check if Wakka really vanished. I see him standing next to Tidus with disappointment. I stare frontward, willing Xion to appear.

In the space ahead, a contorting mirage materializes, taking on a human form. I quickly stand up, my senses revived.

"What's that?" Tidus inquires with worry, "It just came out of nowhere!"

Wakka throws his Blitzball at it. The object passes right through. "It's a ghost!"

I push them to the side, approaching the image. Slowly, the white orb grows dark, forming a torso, arms, legs, and a face. Xion gazes at me expressionlessly, her vivid, blue eyes hypnotizing me to the spot.

"Xion…" I mutter.

"Xion?" Tidus says, "She looks just like Kairi."

"She's a little older, man," Wakka corrects. "But you're right. Where'd she come from?"

I advance toward her, reaching for her face.

"Xion, I've missed you so much." My hand goes through her face. I take a step back in confusion. "Why can't I touch you? This is my mind—my world. You should be able to move."

I will her to take on a more tangible form. Her body solidifies, yet Xion does not illustrate any signs of life. I touch her shoulders lightly; her body leans forward, falling without indication of restraint. I catch her quickly, receiving an icy, lifeless corpse instead of the warm, frail body I remember. I kneel on the ground, holding her in my arms, overwhelmed with fabricated emotions.

"Why can't you move for me, Xion? Can't you talk to me? Please?"

In my turmoil, I notice Tidus and Wakka gaping at me in bewilderment.

"Roxas, did _you_ make her appear?"

I don't answer Wakka, not wanting him to distract me as I beckon my mind to give her life. I place her hand on my cheek, "Xion, it's just for a little while. I just want to talk to you then you can leave. Just please, can you wake up?"

The corpse does not move.

* * *

My care for the passage of time dwindles.

I remain on my knees; the only sounds around me are those falsehoods of waves and whistling winds. I discover I can remain in any position without feeling pain. This explains why I was able to quickly recuperate from the atrophy. It was only my _believing_ that I was atrophied that actually made me feel that way. The moment I wished for the weakness to disappear, it did. Any pain I've felt while being in this comatose state of mind has been hallucinated.

Xion's body disappeared after forty minutes of fruition. As I wait in the recesses of my subconscious, I discover that there are limits to my mental capacity. I am not able to generate anything more than a corpse of the people I want to see. For hours, I create more members of the Organization—even members I don't particularly favor, and they don't last any longer than five minutes. Axel lasted twenty, more than any of the others, but not as much as Xion. I don't understand what decides the time limit. Perhaps it has to do with my attachment to the person. The greater bond I had, the longer the person lasts in my mind.

I stand, finally noticing that I am alone on the beach. I wonder why the children didn't vanish when I wanted them to. Does this have anything to do with my mental limit? If that's true, then why do they live unlike the people I created just now? What makes these figments more tangible than the others?

Without meaning to, my feet lead me to the cave, somehow knowing that I will receive more answers if I only look past that door.

As I arrive, I notice a figure inside, facing away from me. She turns around languidly, her expression mirroring conflicted sorrow. Kairi looks at the stone floor.

"So, I look like Xion that much, huh?"

I don't respond, my sights focused on the door ahead. I will her to leave.

"Not going to answer me?" She scoffs, "I shouldn't have let things get this far with you. You're just like Sora, but you're _nothing_ like him."

Her comments do not perturb me. I walk past her, not wanting to waste any more time trying to form relationships with illusions of my mind.

"Why are you here, Roxas? How did you create that girl? Who are you really?"

I slide my hand down the door, closing my eyes.

"What are you doing? There's nothing there."

My eyes shoot open. I turn to her. "What do you mean? You can't see it?"

Kairi frowns, "See what? The wall?"

I shake my head, "No, I'm talking about the door. This door in front of me."

Kairi looks past me, "There's nothing there."

"Can't you see the light coming from it? It's the only thing that's allowing us to see each other right now."

The eleven-year-old girl shrugs, "Listen. I don't know what's happening to you, but ever since you woke up, it's like you're still stuck in a dream. You can't even tell what's real and what's not."

Her words create a surge of unmitigated anger, flowing through me like a volcano at its eruption. "_You're_ not real! Nothing around me is real! You're just a figment of my imagination!"

Kairi gives me a look of pity that I can't stand. I don't want to be pitied by a fabrication!

"Something's wrong with you, Roxas. You need to get help."

I grow exasperated with her. It's one thing to be pitied, it's another to be pitied and taken for a maniac. I summon my Keyblade and point it at myself. Kairi's eyes open wide.

"Where'd that—"

"You think I'm crazy?" The energy in the Keyblade builds, creating a torrent in the cave. "I'll show you something even crazier."

I shoot myself with Thundaga, blocking the pain coursing through my body, managing to calm down the searing torment into a dull ache. The lightning flickers across my torso as I spread my arms out, dropping my Keyblade. Kairi's aghast expression almost makes me laugh.

"This isn't even the crazy part."

I close my eyes, healing the burn marks with more ease and speed than before.

Kairi gapes at me, mouth open, "What _are_ you?"

I lean down, taking a deep breath. What's maintaining her personality so intact? Why can't I make her believe me at my whim?

"You're in my mind, Kairi. Everything around you is here because I put it there. _You're_ the one that doesn't know what's real. In this world, in my mind, I'm the Supreme Being. I can create and destroy simply by thinking it. Like I said before, _you're _not real. You're a fabrication that I made to comfort me in my weak state of mind. Do you understand now, Kairi? Everything you know as true," I pause lifting her head to face me, "was created by me."

She doesn't answer immediately. I smile, triumph flowing through me.

Tears fall from her eyes, taking me by surprise. "Why are you being like this? Who _are_ you, Roxas?"

I don't regret making her cry. Her tears mean absolutely nothing to me. They are but insignificant droplets of convoluted fantasies created by my subconscious. To feel anything towards something like her would be nonsensical.

Her hands go to her face as her body shakes with her sobs. I know whom she's crying for. She isn't crying for me. She's crying for the person she wants to see the most—the only person that she hasn't been able to see since I got here. As I look down at her, I realize that we are more similar that I originally thought. We both want something that we can't have as of yet and our presence hinders us from seeing that very person we wish to meet.

"Nothing's wrong with me, Kairi. I'm Roxas. I am a Nobody, a part of Organization XIII. For reasons that I do not know, I am in a coma. We are both in my mind right now. I am seeking a way out. Perhaps in doing this I will also be able to grant you freedom from this realm. You have to believe me, Kairi. I wouldn't do anything to hurt you because you are the spitting image of the person I—" I pause, not knowing how to finish the sentence. I know the word that is usually applied in these circumstances, but for the moment, I feel as if I cannot do it any justice. If I say the word, it would only be hollow. "I need to see."

I stand up and face the door.

"Roxas, wait!" Kairi suddenly shouts.

I turn to her.

"What if I said I believed you?"

I raise an eyebrow, "What?"

"What if I know that you're telling the truth? What if I told you that if you exist…" she looks down, more tears falling from her face, "that it means Sora died?"

I shake my head, "What are you saying? How can that happen?"

Kairi doesn't answer my questions; instead, she looks at me with newfound determination. "Do what you need to do to bring Sora back."

I am momentarily taken aback by her confidence. I wasn't sure what had been plaguing her all this time, but this is the Kairi I remember from the beginning. This is the Kairi that reminds me the most of Xion. It is in that instant that I realize she wasn't created by my imagination. There's no way that I could have made someone like Kairi. She's real and I must have met her before. It's the only explanation I can provide myself right now

I nod in response. "I'll find what happened to Sora. The answers we seek lie behind this door. There must be a reason for why only _I _can see it." I tighten my grip on the handle. "It must only be meant for me."

I twist the knob, giving way to the contents behind the source of the light.

* * *

_Shell 8 x Day 8_

Xion

I summon a corridor of darkness to take me to the island.

As soon as it opens, I'm pleasantly greeted by Axel smirking back at me. The sight of a familiar face that reciprocates the same amicability disarms me, knotting up my throat.

"Heya, slowpoke."

I attempt to smile to no avail.

"How's it goin'?" he inquires, "Something on your mind?"

I look down, too overwhelmed by his presence and the lack of one that usually stood at my side but is comfortably succumbed to slumber. Axel sighs, crouching to the sand.

"This is you." He grabs a bit of sand and places it in my palm. The sand falls through the spaces of my glove. "You're there, but you're not. When I think I have you in the palm of my hand." He bends down again to pick up more sand. "You just fall right through the creases." The sand slips through his fingers.

I contemplate his words. There is much truth behind them, not only about me, but of the existence of Nobodies. We are like this sand, thinking, hoping that we are whole—a little pile in someone's palm. But we only manage to slip right through, back to the void, lost among all the other grains of sand, never able to recollect ourselves again. We are insignificant grains among trillions and trillions. Once more, I become aware of the irony in the title we give ourselves. Why do we go against whom we are? Why is it so engrained in us to fight for hearts? If we were born without them, why do we seek to fill the predestined gap in our chests? Why can't we accept the truth? Is the truth so despondent that we simply deny it altogether? Not once have I heard a Nobody from the Organization say that he wanted to simply live his life instead of search for hearts. Perhaps there is a reason to our existence, not as Somebodies but as we were created. There must be a greater purpose for us _as we are_ not how we want to be. What is so wrong with being a Nobody?

As if in answer to my thoughts, a cool breeze caresses my face, helping me arrive to a conclusion.

We can't believe that something as abominable as a heartless being exists. Therefore, the only way to remedy such an abomination in nature is to attain hearts. I bow my head. Yet, even if we do attain hearts, we'll never truly be Somebodies. I walk to the shore, staring at my reflection thrown back by the water. It'll be like wearing a mask. To everyone who sees us, we will seem to blend in, like chameleons. But at the end of the day, the mask must come off and we'll always be Nobodies first. There's no way to deny who we truly are. We cannot escape our fate.

"Xion?" Axel mutters.

I glance up at him meekly.

"What's on your mind?" He inquires carefully.

I look out to the ocean, momentarily filled by its expansive existence, envying the power it has to possess the area surrounding it. "Nobodies are like insignificant specks in the spectrum of light. We are errors in the system. We shouldn't even exist, but we do. Why would we be created as fallacies?"

Axel sighs and sits down on the sand. I follow his example. He lifts his right leg, placing his arm on it, and leans forward. We stare at the descending sun in the horizon.

Axel exhales before speaking, "Well, I don't know much, if anything, about being a Nobody. But I do know that we _exist_."

"But why?" I press on. "_Why_?" I hold myself, suddenly cold from the ocean breeze.

He shrugs, brushing off the implications behind the interrogative word. "I don't know, but by existing it means that we're here for something, right? Why would we be here if it wasn't for something?"

I ponder that maybe he's like the other Nobodies, incapable of considering the fact that we might not have a purpose in this universe—that the worlds are better off without us.

"Purpose?" I question. "What purpose?"

He shakes his head, "Like I said, I don't know much. But I think that if we exist, precisely _because _we exist, it doesn't make us insignificant. No hearts, no emotions, even with all that, it just makes us who we are: Nobodies. We exist. We can't change that."

I process what he said, not completely satisfied with his open-ended answer. It did, however, manage to change my perspective on something. Perchance, instead of thinking of a grain of sand as something insignificant, maybe I should see a grain as part of something much bigger—seemingly insignificant, but important. Just as how trillions of sand granules make up the shore and ocean floor, Nobodies make up the population. We exist just as how everyone else does. As Axel said, it doesn't matter what our purpose is. The fact that we are alive is what makes us important in this universe. Every grain of sand is needed, meaning that every Nobody is needed, too. We are additions to the population, different, but equally important.

I smile at Axel, grateful for his input even if he mostly said he didn't know much. "Thanks, Axel. I feel better now."

He nods, a redness settling on his cheeks. I attribute it to the sun. "I don't get it."

"Get what?"

"Why'd you miss me so much? I mean, we hardly hung out. Why are you happy to see me?"

I wait for him to correct himself since Roxas mentioned he didn't like using "pathetic" vocabulary, but he doesn't say any more.

"Roxas would talk to me about you. He esteems you highly. To him, you're his first friend, which makes you his best friend. I think it's an honor to be a best friend to someone. Since you were his friend, it felt like you were my friend, too. Sometimes, I feel like Roxas and I are closer in thought than we think."

Axel looks off into space, mulling over my words. He throws himself on the sand, staring at the purple, orange, pink, and blue hues of the dusking sky. "Xion, how do you feel about Roxas?"

His question stuns be without my understanding why it would.

"What do you mean? About having him as a friend?"

"Whatever you think the question means."

I frown, "I don't really understand you."

"I mean, what do you feel for him?"

I look down in contemplation. Images of when we were on missions together, helping each other when one of us was attacked from behind, when we were eating ice cream on the tower, watching the sun set, ending yet another day, flash through my mind. Peaceful days of companionship that I no longer have with him leave behind a nostalgic constriction in my chest that makes it difficult to breathe for a moment. I don't realize until I stop to think about him how much I truly want him by my side again.

"I think that I have a strong attachment to Roxas." I answer, "If anything bad were to happen to him, I feel that I would lose my mind." I gaze at the sand. The mere thought saddens me.

"So, in short, you'd say you love him?" Axel turns to stare into my eyes, his green irises clashing with my blue ones.

Although I've heard that word utilized in quotidian circumstances, often referring to how one particularly prefers an object or a person, I suspect that isn't what Axel has in mind when he applies the word in this situation. "Love?"

Axel gazes at the sunset, "Yeah. Love."

I stare into the sea, wondering if I understand the meaning of the word. I never thought that I loved Roxas, not once. To me, he is a precious and irreplaceable friend. Do I truly know the meaning of that word either? I only know what 'friend' means from Roxas's definition. Is what Roxas and I have friendship? With time, did it evolve into something more, something deeper and more meaningful than friendship? What do I have with Axel right now? If I were to compare him and Roxas—if I were to have to choose between saving one or the other, my immediate thought is to save Roxas, even though I know how much he cares for Axel. I would prioritize Roxas's safety over Axel's without a second thought. Is wanting to protect someone selflessly considered love? Could this intense attachment be more than friendship?

I put a hand to my chin, pondering the implications of the word 'love.'

I recall the time I spent with him, his sleeping face, his cheesy grin, his gravity-defying blonde hair, his azure blue eyes that seem to lead right into his empty core as they reflect back an image of myself as I stared at him. If he had been any other person, any other partner, would I want to spend as much time with that person as I do with him? My preference for his physical appearance and personality heavily outweighs that of any others. Does preference for a certain person equate to love? If he were to be destroyed would I be able to live without him?

The question stuns the air out of me. I cover my mouth, reminding myself to breathe. I don't want to even think about such a thing. He can sleep forever. That doesn't matter. But please, don't let anything happen to him.

I blink and stare at my hands. Is this immediate panic at the thought of losing him love?

I pause before answering, putting my hair behind my ear, finding my answer. "His presence is as imperative to me as air is to the lungs, as water is to a fish, as a heart is to a Somebody. Without him, I would asphyxiate, I would cease to exist." I look out into the ocean, "Without him, I would truly know the meaning of being an empty shell." I take a deep breath, not getting enough oxygen to my brain. "It's difficult to go along with menial tasks. He's the first friend I ever had. He'll always be that first friend. He's different from you or anyone else. I can live without you. Without him, there's no point in living anymore."

Axel gapes at me, speechless.

"What?" I ask.

"I never thought you'd know what it meant."

I frown, "What do you mean? You're not making any sense. Why are you asking me if I know what love is? Am I _not _supposed to?"

Axel doesn't answer my question, instead he grabs me roughly by the shoulders, "Xion, snap out of it! Stop living in the illusion that you can feel! Emotions aren't something that Nobodies have. Stop imagining that we have them because we don't!"

I push him off me, suddenly enraged, "How can you do that to me? How can you just throw something I _know_ is true at my face immediately after I tell you? I know I'm a Nobody. I know! You don't have to remind me! But if I am, how do I know what these things are? Have you ever considered that maybe there are certain Nobodies that _can_ feel and others that_ can't_?"

I stand up and place my hood over my head, which had come off in my fury.

"Wait," Axel bolts up, "Where're you going? This is the only time we can meet!"

He runs over to me and grabs my arm.

Without turning, I address him, "Axel. That I'm a Nobody, what does that mean?"

He hesitates, "That you don't have a heart."

"Why don't I? Why don't any of us? You know and you don't want to tell me."

I scrunch my eyes closed, already expecting him to say he doesn't know. The question I long to have answered finally makes its way to my lips from my abysmally empty core.

He exhales deeply, "A Nobody is what remains of those who lose their hearts to darkness."

I turn to face him as he lets go of my arm. "I'm born when another is destroyed?"

He nods slowly.

"What happens to the one that was destroyed? What happens to the heart?"

"If the person is taken by darkness, the heart will become a Heartless. If the heart isn't saved by the Keyblade, it will go to the Realm of Darkness where it will either stay or become a Heartless. We, Nobodies, are created from the strong hearts that were taken by the darkness. My Somebody, Lea, was of strong will."

I frown, "You know who your Somebody is? Do you remember everything about your past self?"

He nods slowly again.

"Then, why can't I?"

Axel simply looks at me, not even attempting to answer my question.

"What about Roxas? Why can't he remember anything either?"

"I don't know why he can't remember."

"Liar." I mutter.

"Honestly! I don't!" Axel corrects. "He's an odd case. I mean, I might have an idea, but…"

"What do you know?"

Axel runs a hand through his hair, "It might have to do with his Somebody. He's a special guy. A Keyblade wielder."

"Who is he?"

"His name's Sora. He's at—" he stops abruptly.

"Wait—his Somebody is _alive_? I thought you said that we can only exist if our Somebodies lose their hearts to darkness."

Suddenly I understand why Nobodies search for hearts—because that _is_ our purpose. We weren't originally Nobodies, we were Somebodies that lost our hearts to darkness. There _is_ hope for us after all. Then another thought strikes me. "Doesn't Roxas need to find his heart?"

Axel scratches the back of his head, regretting talking about this, "Well, Sora had to succumb to darkness at some point, otherwise Roxas wouldn't have been created. I don't know why Roxas exists if his Somebody doesn't need him anymore."

My chest falters at the thought that my suspicions were correct. Could Roxas truly _not_ have a reason to exist in this universe?

I shake my head, "That doesn't make any sense. Roxas exists because he still has a connection with his Somebody. Where's his Somebody now? Where's Sora?"

Axel fidgets, "I can't tell you that."

I frown, "Why not?"

He grabs my shoulders, "Xion, just please…don't ask me that. I can't tell you. That's the way it is. It'll jeopardize everything the Organization's worked for."

With that simple fact, I instantly know where Sora is. However, I can't share this knowledge with him. Does this have anything to do with why Roxas is in a coma? Could his Somebody be in a coma, as well?

"Fine. But what does any of this have to do with emotions?"

"Only people with hearts can feel, Xion. It's impossible for us to feel things like emotions."

I shove him. "You always say that! Everyone says that, but I know it's not true." I look down, "It can't be."

Axel sighs, "Your memories."

I recall a conversation I had with Roxas before he fell into his coma.

* * *

"_Do you wonder why you feel these, impulses?" _

Did he mean emotions?

"_What impulses?" I asked._

"_Coming to see me. You said that's what you thought friends did, right?"_

I put my hand on my forehead. This is where I explained that I wanted to see him.

"_So you didn't react on what your memories told you friends did?" He questioned._

* * *

Now that I know of my origins, I become more aware of the fact that Axel might be right. These emotions might not come from myself; they're from my Somebody's memories. Then I remind myself of something essential.

"But I don't remember any of my memories. How can I feel based on things I don't remember?"

"The body holds memories as well. You are the body of your Somebody. I retain all the memories of my Somebody."

"But I don't?"

He shakes his head.

"Why not?"

Axel once again doesn't answer my question.

"Then you're contradicting yourself. You say that I have all the memories of my Somebody and that's why I feel, but I _don't _have the memories of my Somebody. The only explanation that remains is that I'm experiencing emotion on my own!"

He looks over to the ocean, a melancholic expression on his face, "You're right. I am contradicting myself. But I don't want you to be disappointed when you find out that you're wrong. You're emotions are false. They aren't true emotions."

I feel a heavy weight on my chest. "But," I take off my hood, "How can you have false emotions?"

"You must be simulating a heart and what a heart does."

This angers me, "Just because it's a simulation doesn't mean that what I feel isn't really there. I love Roxas. That's more true to me than anything else."

"No, you _can't_. It's not real!" Axel raises his voice.

My eyes get as hot as my chest, bursting with a familiar sensation. "It's there." I repeat, "Even if it's a simulation of an emotion, it's still there. What I feel is really there." I wrap my arms around myself. Water droplets spill from my eyes. Axel stares, stunned. I reach for my face with my gloves, wiping the water off.

"What is this?"

The thick weight in my chest rises to my throat, making it difficult to speak. When I realize this, my eyes water more. I wipe frantically at my face in confusion. The knot rises, bursting through my lips in the form of a sob. I put my hands over my face and allow the horrible sound from my throat to escape with no way of detaining it. Axel fidgets, not knowing what to do. He decides to wrap his arms around me in consolation. That is all I need to never stop crying. The water streams down my face. I breathe jaggedly, attempting to speak but find that I am unable. I put a hand to my chest, feeling as if there's a gaping hole there even though I know I'm already empty.

"Axel," I strain to say, "What is this?"

He brings me closer to him and says, "Those—I think those are tears."

"Tears?"

"Somebodies cry whenever they're sad."

My thoughts return to Roxas, of how much I want him to wake up, of how I don't want to tell him anything that I've just heard. These tears are incomprehensible to people like Axel and the other Organization members. To them, this is a simulation, a great one, of emotions. Roxas would understand me. These tears mean something more than just a physiological response to an emotion. It's as if I'm crying because I've lost something important. I'm crying as if it's my final goodbye. I'm crying for myself, for the person I was and will never be again. This is the end of Xion as Roxas knew her. When he wakes, I will not be the same.

I wipe what I can, having to take off my gloves, and look up at Axel. He wipes some of the residual tears with his bare hand, his bodily heat extending to my face. We stare at each other in silence, communicating our thoughts without words. We both have attained forbidden knowledge. We understand what occurred, even so, we don't comprehend the ramifications. The closeness we felt before evolves into an inseparable bond because of this circumstance. I push him away a little, the distance providing me with comfort. Speechlessly, we relay that this is a breakthrough—a breakthrough to our very existence. The problem is: we don't know what to do with it.

"Axel, if Nobodies have feelings without hearts, then what's the purpose of Kingdom Hearts? We don't need to make hearts. We're just wasting time."

Axel shakes his head, "We don't know that for sure. Crying only proves one thing."

"What?"

"That you can simulate very well. It doesn't mean anything for me or any other Nobody. We all need to cry for that theory to be true."

I gaze at the sand, the anger in me rising, "You're saying that this proves nothing? What I feel, what you just saw, none of it proves anything?"

Axel grimaces, turning away, "Yes. The mission for the creation of Kingdom Hearts will continue under the order of Xemnas." He opens a corridor of darkness. As he takes a step inside, the climbing fury envelops me with hopelessness. A few more tears make their way out of my eyes as I clench my teeth and hands. I let out a frustrated yell, bend down to pick up a shell, and throw it at Axel's head, "Traitor!"

He continues walking through the portal, leaving me behind.

I clench my fists again, "Idiot…"

A shell stares back at me, asking: 'Why are you crying?' The only answer I can manage is: 'Because everything is hopeless.' I pick it up and put it in my pocket. I raise my arm, opening a corridor when suddenly I feel the presence of a threat behind me. I jump, summoning my Keyblade, creating a vortex of air, dispersing the sand around me, giving myself cover.

He comes through the sand, blade lifted high above his head, crashing it down on my Keyblade. Sparks fly with the metal scraping against each other. I brace, clenching my teeth with the force of the hit and the block I performed, successfully evading the frontal assault. We land on the ground, creating a cloud of sand around ourselves. We wait until the sand retreats, breathing quickly.

"Seems as if you've improved," says the hooded man.

I scoff, "Are you fond of attacking your opponents from behind? Isn't that a cowardly move?"

"Hmph." He pushes off me, jumping backwards, landing at a distance.

"Have fun infiltrating the Organization?" I continue to taunt.

The figure pulls back his hood revealing straight, silver hair, a blindfold over his eyes. I realize I'm not wearing my hood anymore, but that shouldn't matter since he can't see.

"Not really. But I did find what I was looking for. Most of it pertains to you. Some of it to that comatose Nobody-Roxas, was it?"

I clench my blade, cracking my knuckles. The day has come. I'm making Roxas pay for my revenge on the Organization. I must remedy my weakness with this battle. "What do you want?"

"My friend needs his memories back to wake up. Both you and Roxas are taking them from him. I'm not a murderer. I don't kill to get my way. I'm here to talk to you."

"Attacking me from behind is a funny greeting. What world are you from where that's commonplace?"

The teenager laughs, "This one, actually. And how else am I supposed to get your attention?"

I frown, confused, "From this world? Why isn't there anyone here?"

He looks down, perplexing me even more. He's dropping his guard after attacking me? "My ambition turned to greed and ravaged my home world. Everyone was destroyed, except my friends and me. Thanks to my best friend, he managed to fix what I broke, restoring the world you see around you. This island was our playground as kids. Now that we're older, we don't need to come here anymore."

I look around the islands surrounded by the potent ocean. "What did you do?"

He unsummons his blade, "I craved for the power to travel worlds. When I was younger, I was approached by someone who had that power. He passed down the ability to wield the Keyblade to me. After that day, my friends and I dreamt of getting off this island. On my fifteenth year, I discovered the power of the darkness." He points to the cave I noticed on one of my trips here. "I welcomed the Heartless to my world with the hope of commencing my journey. I wielded the power regardless of dragging anyone down with me. My avarice and need for adventure created nothing but destruction. I put my friends in danger. One of them lost her heart and now the other lost his memories, searching for me."

I find myself understanding his predicament. We both had to pay a price for our selfishness. Could he be an ally? "You opened the door. You're saying that door is the connection between worlds?"

He nods.

"What do you mean one of your friends lost his heart?"

"She lost it. Because of what I did. She sought refuge in Sora's heart, causing him to become a Heartless to free her."

I unsummon my Keyblade, realizing that he might have been the person I've been waiting to meet. The person with answers. "You know Sora? So Roxas truly is his Nobody? Do you know why Roxas doesn't remember anything about his past self?"

Riku puts a hand over his face, "I paid the ultimate price when I opened that door. Sora lost his heart, but Kairi brought him back. I guess since Sora wasn't a Heartless for long, Roxas couldn't have any of his memories. But that doesn't matter. He has them now."

I frown, "What do you mean Roxas has them now?"

"I mean he's taking them as we speak. You are too."

I shake my head, "No, I'm not. I don't remember anything from my past life. Do you know who I used to be?"

Riku doesn't say anything, just like Axel. I summon my Keyblade, feeling a threatening air from him again. "Tell me now. I won't hesitate to attack you."

He summons his sword, "It's not my place to be the bearer of bad news."

"Tell me _now!_ I'm sick of asking and not getting answers! How am I taking his memories? He's Roxas's Somebody, not mine!"

The teenager sighs, "You're a failed experiment of the Organization."

The fury within me silences as I process the curt tone in which he described my purpose. My Keyblade disappears as my will quivers, "…What?"

He walks closer to me and stops, maintaining a few steps distance. "Roxas is Sora's Nobody. Sora can't wake from his sleep because Roxas still exists. You were created by the Organization as a fail-safe for when the moment came when…_I _would take Roxas from them."

I look up at him, taking a leap back, baring my Keyblade, instantly vigilant. He's managed to make me drop my guard twice already. I can't trust this guy at all, even if he has the answers I need. "So you _did_ come for the kill?"

"Don't you understand? You're a puppet of the Organization. You were created to replace Roxas should he return to his Somebody."

I cover my ears, overwhelmed with the truth. He's trying to make me weak. I can't allow that to happen. "Stop it! I don't want to hear it!" I fall to my knees, losing the strength of my legs, unable to maintain myself standing. I want to curl into a ball and deny that this is happening. I can't do this. I need to be strong, "I don't want to hear it."

"They made you so that you would take everything from him. You are like me, the harbinger of darkness to those with hearts of light."

"Shut up!" I unleash Blizzaga, missing due to my turmoil, "I told you I didn't want to hear it!"

"It's the truth! Didn't you want to know the truth of your existence?"

I glare at him, spitting acid though my words, "You were _eavesdropping_?"

"I was waiting for him to leave so I could talk to you. I need you to understand something. Something that can change your fate with the Organization. You don't need to be a puppet anymore. You can choose to become your own person. Remember, you are not a Nobody, you are not a Somebody, you are a—"

"I'm a blank canvas."

He hesitates, "Yes…that sounds about right."

As I process the reality of my existence, I comprehend that of all the Nobodies without a supposed purpose, I'm the one with the least importance in this universe. I want to cry. I want to yell. I want to fly high into the sky and plummet back to the ground, creating a hole through the world and arriving at another at the end. There are so many things I want to do to make myself believe that all of this is just a dream. How envious I am of Roxas's slumber. At least if he ever has nightmares, he'll always be able to wake up from them in the end. This isn't a nightmare. This isn't a dream. I'm facing my fate head on. The truth stands in front of me. I can either accept it or reject it. The question is: Will I make the same mistake that this boy made? Will I allow my own selfishness to destroy the one I love?

"Sora is the Key." The boy continues, "He needs to wake up. The problem is, Roxas is absorbing all of his memories."

"Roxas doesn't remember anything." I correct.

"He doesn't need to. He can collect them. That's enough to maintain Sora sleeping."

"Okay, and what does this have to do with me? Why am I absorbing Sora's memories, too?"

"Because you're supposed to replace Roxas as the Keyblade wielder. You were created from Sora's most powerful memory: Kairi."

I recall the image in the cave of the girl. Then I also recall the other image that looked exactly like me. Where does that fit into this? Is there something that this boy is missing?

"What's your name?"

"Riku. And yours?"

"Xion. Riku, you're implying that if I don't return Sora's memories, he'll never remember this girl, Kairi?"

He nods, "She's extremely important to him."

"Does he love her?" I ask.

Riku hesitates, "We both do."

I exhale, "Must be difficult to look at me right now then."

"A little to be honest."

"Not enough for you to tell me to voluntarily disappear, though, right?" Riku is momentarily taken aback by the question.

My tone grows hostile as I glare at him, calling forth courage from the recesses of my empty core, "You need me to return the memories, but you just told me that I am created from memories. Essentially, what you want me to do is _die_ so your friend can wake up. Not only that, you want Roxas to _die_ as well, because both him and I aren't supposed to exist anymore. Roxas was a Nobody born from a boy that immediately restored his heart, leaving half of his soul behind in Roxas. And now _I _am the clone that's supposed to replace Roxas when he returns Sora's memories, effectively dying. But let me ask you this, Riku. Of all the things you told me, which did you _possibly_ think I would agree to?"

Riku drops his façade of amicability, summoning his Keyblade. "Truthfully, I didn't think you'd agree to anything."

I clench my Keyblade, getting into my fighting stance. "Attacking me from behind was your preemptive strike should I not agree to your demands, huh? You thought right when you attacked me. I wasn't going to allow you to destroy Roxas to save your friend. I'm also willing to do anything whether it is harness the powers of darkness or light to stop you from hurting those I love. If you stuck around for the conversation between me and Axel, you should know that both you and I are more alike than we thought. You have someone you want to protect—" I charge at him with a fury I didn't know I could contain. No one is going to hurt Roxas. Not after I just figured out what I feel for him. "—So do _I_!"

He evades my attack, sweeping his body to the side, slamming his blade into my back. The pain courses through my body, taking out the air from my lungs. I slide my blade to the left from underneath me, casting three Firaga spells, while air sliding backwards away from any possible attacks from him. I have to avoid his hits at every cost. Getting hit by him will be fatal. He deflects all but one of the spheroids, which manages to successfully hit him in the chest, blowing him back. His coat doesn't catch on fire since the coats were designed that way by the Organization. I wait at a distance, watching. He stands up.

"It's a shame that things have to be this way."

"Don't mock me!" I spit back.

Riku's Keyblade develops an aura of darkness. "I wish you would just give up the memories without fighting me. Saves me from having to hit a girl that looks like Kairi."

He shoots a darkness attack low to the ground intentionally, picking up sand. I close my eyes, trying to avoid getting hit with both the blinding granules and the attack. He comes in from my left. I clench my teeth tightly, fear ebbing its way into my chest. I lift my blade to block him, barely evading the attack. Once more, I air slide backwards, maintaining a distance from him.

"Are you running away?" He taunts. "Come at me! After that speech of yours I was expecting a grand battle!"

I assess potential strategies to defeat him while he waits for me to attack. That's part of his strategy. He only uses frontal attacks when it's a preemptive strike. As long as I'm always looking at his front, he can't attack me. Close combat is definitely going to result in my death. He is too strong physically. Most of my attacks must be from a distance. This reduces me to using magic. Limit Breaks will only hinder me if I'm cut off in the middle of them, however they can provide a good series of critical hits, but only if I catch him off guard, which I highly doubt. So far, there are only two of us on this island and nothing to distract us. A Limit Break will have to be a last resort since I only have one. I take a look at my surroundings. I can't use any sand or water to throw in his face because of the blindfold. If he's this strong when he's blindfolded, I wonder what he's like when he doesn't wear it. I jump into the sky, watching as he follows me with his body. Because of his blindfold, as long as my feet don't touch the ground, I have a major advantage. I land on a palm tree near the cascade. I unleash Blizzaga, trying to distract him. He evades the attack with ease. With Firaga, I set the tree on fire creating more stimuli over the waves and cascade. His ears should be overflowing with sound. The crackling tree weakens at the base. I shoot Thundaga at it, acting quickly in the time that it falls. Riku doesn't know what I'm trying to do; seemingly to him I'm only destroying the terrain. I come from behind and strike him on the head as hard as I can in hopes of knocking him out. The hit propels him forward, but with a swift movement of the arm, he swings his Keyblade behind himself, letting it go in the air, charged with darkness. The blade hits me in the torso, pushing me under the collapsing tree and comes back once more, where it stops in his hand. The tree cracks loudly, falling toward me. Too out of breath from the hits, I create a shield around myself as the tree falls over me. He watches as my plan undoes at the seams.

"Nice try, but I can see through the blindfold." He rubs the back of his head. "That was a pretty good hit, though. Made me see spots."

As his guard is down, in anger, I release Thundaga without using my Keyblade, aiming it at his chest. He lifts his Keyblade belatedly due to the speed of the lightning, receiving the full blow. I use this chance while he's down to plummet him with more Thundaga attacks, swinging my arms down, the lighting materializing out of thin air, brightening the area while simultaneously accentuating the shadows surrounding us. I watch as the energy surges through his body like Nematomorphas. Waiting until he's on his feet will be my downfall. I use Graviga to lift the burning tree, crushing it into smaller pieces, splinters filling the air, raining them over him. He uses shield to block all the attacks, but I can tell he's overwhelmed. I take this moment to air slide towards him, aware that my own attacks will hit me, but willing to take that chance to defeat him once and for all. His shield falters for a second. Instantly, I use my Limit Break, lifting my body into the air and pelt attacks of light at him. I'm hit by pieces of falling debris, but ignore the pain, adamant in taking him down. Whist in mid-air, I kick the burning wood toward him, using an Ether to restore my magic gauge, and plummet him with another bound of Thundaga, the one magic spell that's too quick for him to dodge.

Suddenly, Riku lets out an enraged growl, forming a ring of darkness around himself, expelling me and the falling debris to the side, creating a shock wave of sand, momentarily blinding me. I sail to the ground, my back hitting the dry sand, dispersing with my body. I cough out the granules that enter my lungs. He jumps up, flying into the sky, and nosedives to the ground. I roll to the side, feeling his blade of darkness graze my arm, burning it. I groan in pain. He bombards me with streams of darkness, two which manage to hit me, each time with the breath knocked out of me. As he attacks relentlessly, I cast Reflega on myself as I roll on the ground, sand getting into my eyes, until finally the assault is over. While his body returns to the sand, I shoot a fire blast at his face, hitting him successfully. He hunches down, yelling in pain, taking off the burning blindfold. I jump behind him and this time without fail, I hit the back of his neck, watching as his body becomes immobile, falling to the ground. I pant loudly, holding my injured left arm with my right. The Keyblades disappear.

"If I'm a blank canvas, then that means that I can draw myself any way I want."

I ponder if I should kill him. He's defenselessly sleeping in front of me. Now would be the perfect time to end him and his hunt for Roxas and I. An image of when he defeated me flashes through my mind. Back then, he didn't have any trouble vanquishing me. I wasn't even much of a threat. Now, things changed. He underestimated me. His arrogance was his downfall.

I decide to leave him there, remembering that he could have killed me and decided to spare me. This indicates that he's not as much of a hypocrite as I initially thought. He cares for his friends as much as I care for mine. We both have similar goals, simply contradicting paths to achieve them. It is a pity that we were put on opposite ends of the chessboard. If we were to combine our abilities, I feel like Riku and I would have made good friends.

I open a corridor of darkness with Roxas's room in mind.

* * *

My ears feel numb, expecting to hear the sound of waves or fire crackling. I focus on Roxas's breathing, providing me with a blanket of comfort. My eyes adjust to the pale, monotony of the room.

I sigh, my defenses breaking down. "If only I could tell you everything that I learned today. Axel's an idiot, for one. I don't know how you can like him. Obviously, you haven't spent much time with him on opposing sides of an issue." I walk to his bed and lay down, hugging his body to mine. "Wake up, Roxas. I know that if you wake up, you'd believe me."

Roxas twitches his head a little, the most he's moved since the start of his coma. I watch his chest rise up and down. If I didn't see him breathing everyday, I would think he was dead. I sync my breathing with his.

"Roxas, you were right. We have the power to simulate emotions. However, there's a fine line between what is simulated and what is true." I inhale, "Our bodies pretend to have hearts to the point where its convincing enough that we don't _need_ actual hearts anymore." I exhale, "Roxas, wake up already. I need you here with me. I don't know what's going on in this world. I'm so confused. Everything is blurring together, Roxas." I sigh, digging my head into his chest, longing for his arms to come around me in response.

"Don't worry, Xion."

A foreign, yet familiar voice anesthetizes the air around me. No matter how hard I tried to hear this voice when I needed it most, I was never able to. I bolt my head up, feeling a heavy hand on my hair.

"It'll all be over soon."

I stare at him in shock, as he speaks with his eyes closed, wondering if I'm imagining this. After those words, Roxas falls limp again. His voice and his touch still lingers in my ears, in the room.

"R-Roxas?"

I grab him by the shoulders, shaking him, "Roxas? Did you just wake up? Can you hear me?"

After shaking him for a minute, I realize he's asleep again and the movement is hurting him. I'm elated that he's finally showing signs of waking.

I ponder how I should tell him everything I've learned. Then, I realize that if I do, I will put him in jeopardy. Sometimes, things are maintained a secret for a reason. It's in his best interest to not know the objective behind his existence. I don't want him to know that some Nobodies really _don't_ have a purpose. There are some of us that are born as fallacies. There are some that are not. Now I understand why Axel didn't want to answer my questions. He did to me what I'm going to do to Roxas. He wasn't a traitor, he was protecting me. There's a reason why he's still loyal to the Organization, something probably worse than the truth of our existence.

If Roxas discovers that his existence passed its expiration date, I don't know how he will react. In my case, I am a tool that became useless. For Roxas, he isn't meant to exist in the first place. After he wakes, not knowing the truth will at least give him hope that he still has a purpose to find.

I get off the bed, looking down at his sleeping form, "I used to think that your coma was a tragedy. Now, I find it a blessing. I'm glad you haven't been awake for any of this because I know that at least you'll still be the same." My gaze darkens," And that you won't change."

I place the eighth shell with the others. "Thanks, Roxas, for giving me the hope I'd lost and a new reason to fight."

I caress him and step out of the room, leaving the old Xion behind to save Roxas from the fate he hasn't discovered.

* * *

**A/N:**

A lot of stuff happens in this chapter!

So, did Xion just get awesome or what? I remember when I played the game that she just listens to Riku after all. "I have to return to Sora..." Blah, blah, blah! I hated the way she just accepted her fate. She has trouble with it, I know. She isolates herself, but in the end, she gives.

And Roxas woke up a little! Yay! What does his opening the door mean?

Axel keeps his loyalties with the Organization, but he hasn't sold out Xion. Could he still be an ally or should Xion never trust him again?

Xion and Riku have a battle to the death, except Xion spares him because she felt in debt to him for letting her live before. Did she just make another crucial mistake or did she gain an unlikely ally?

And lastly, Xion finally realizes she loves Roxas! The romance is here, folks! Distant, but here!

* * *

**IMPORTANT:**

Sadly, school started for me (I'm updating this chapter: 1/13) and I have to focus on my studies leaving this as my second priority. So this story will be on an indefinite hiatus until I can find some time to write the next half of chapter seven. The good news is that I'm almost done with the story, only around four or five chapters left. Since each chapter is pretty long, that's why it feels like this is kind of short. Please be a little patient with me. I will get a chapter to you guys when I can. Hopefully, soon before things in college get heavy.

_**SL**_


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